I've got an appointment with my GP tomorrow because I feel as if I am having a bit of a breakdown/mid-life crisis and I am really really scared.
I'm never ill, never go to the doc, usually quite a happy bubbly person. I've recently switched surgeries so I don't even know the GP.
I'm really happily married to dh for 15 years, we have one ds. We have a great life, very close, great sex, feel fulfilled.
Two months ago I trawled the internet and found someone with whom I had a brief, but intense, relationship 20 years ago. I was heartbroken back then, very sad and lonely and looking back, I think it paved the way for some destructive behaviour on my part in the years to follow before I met dh.
Former lover and I have been emailing back and forth for the last 2 months and we have spoken on the phone once. All of the emotion of loss and sadness has come out - on both sides. We are both devastated but it seems we are having a delayed reaction. He is married too. We are not trying to rekindle anything, he lives in another country. It didn't work out not because we didn't love each other but because circumstances forced him back home.
I know the obvious solution is to break off contact but I feel like we need to keep talking to find out why we are both feeling this way. And please, I don't need a flaming for having a 'relationship' with him. I know it's not forever and I don't feel like I am betraying dh- if this makes any sense, it has nothing to do with my dh or my present happiness, but everything to do with a sadness I felt so so long ago.
I burst into tears at the drop of a hat (i.e., on the way home from school run this morning!), can't eat, obsessively checking my emails, can't do anything except lie on the sofa or sit in the bath and cry. The only thing that helps is that OM is doing exactly the same thing. I can't talk to anyone about this as it just doesn't sound real.
So I've booked myself in to see the GP tomorrow and I don't know whether I should just tell the whole story (it sounds so childish!) or whether I should just say I'm having a mid life crisis and need something to calm me down. I rarely take medication (not even for headaches) so I'm really scared that I'm seriously going mad.
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Mental health
How do I talk to GP about my mental state?
16 replies
Iknowmyheadsintheclouds · 03/02/2010 11:26
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