health anxiety out of control.

[littleweed]

ever since i read about that poor bloke from come dine with me dying 2 months after being diagnosed with cancer I am so scared. i keep thinking that it will happen to me. what can I do ? suppose i have it & i don't know?

[GetDownYouWillFall]

How old are you? Any history of it in your family? Do you smoke? Do you eat healthily?
Just make sure you do what you can to keep healthy, and try not to worry although I know that must be hard.
If you are really that worried take a trip to your GP to get the "once over" i.e. blood pressure check, etc. and hopefully they will be able to put your mind at ease.
Take it easy x

[Comewhinewithme]

You poor thing it is awful I tend to panic when my dc are ill and get overanxious about them.
Not sure what to advise but bumping for you.
Take care.

[littleweed]

thanks both of you - I'm a teetotal non smoking vegetarian with a chocolate habit - no history of anything in the family. I just have very sore legs at the moment ( have posted in health about this) I am just terrified & obssessing about this poor man.

[GetDownYouWillFall]

I felt a bit like that when Jade Goody died, such a shock.
But it sounds like you are doing all the right things, and the fact there is no family history is great.
Chocolate habit? What mum doesn't have a chocolate habit.

[mumof2000]

I suffer with health anxiety and know what it feels like ...how long have you been like this littleweed ,

[littleweed]

on & off since I had children ( can see that link!) but getting worse in the last year - sice Jade in fact as GDYWF said. I am a bit of a pessimist by nature so i supose thinking like this is as pessimistic as youcan get really! i did mention to teh Dr who said i just had to rationalise my way through it...........

[UnderneathTheStream]

I get health anxiety too.

I tell myself that I?m being irrational (odds of actually having the illness I?m obsessing about v odds of a traffic accident ? which I DON?T worry about) etc. Then I try to get my thoughts into a ?happy place? ? normally in the future.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn?t.

Oh and TELL someone so they can tell you if you?re worrying un-proportionally?

Does that help?

[sazzlelou]

Littleweed - I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from health anxiety and sometimes it's crippling and I can't think of anything else.

If you need someone like anxious minded to cat to, i'm happy to

[mumof2000]

wow a real comfort that im not alone with this .... i at times think im going mad ..i do find it helps to talk to others abut it , kind of therapy ....
its truly a horrid feeling one of which i find hard to explain to others who dont suffer with it and its hard for them to understand as there are no physical symptoms as such ...

my worry is always C ... at moment its skin and im going to dermatologist on friday ....very scared at moment and anx..

[NanaNina]

mum of 2000 - I do sympathise with you as I have a sister who also suffers in this way, and over the years she has imagined she has all sorts of things, whereas in fact she is quite healthy.

However she is now seeing a counsellor about the underlying reasons for these kinds of anxieties. All of our anxieties go back to our childhood and my sister is being encouraged to look at what happened in childhood that made her anxious, and our parents used to make a great fuss of us when we were ill. The counsellor thinks that they were kind but they also gave us the message that they were worried about us being ill, so we worry when we are ill. For my sister that has got out of control, but she is now being helped to control this anxiety so that it doesn't overwhelm her.

I think this is the only way forward to be honest, because as soon as your mind is settled about one possible illness then you will think you have something else, and being told that you don't have it, doesn't really help does it. SO I think it has to be treated like an anxiety disorder and look at where it came from, and how to manage it in the future so you are not constantly overwhelmed with these things. The other thing is of course you will pass on these anxieties to your children if you do not get them under control.

There is an amazing difference in my sister after just a few counselling sessions and she is starting to change the way she thinks about her health anxieties.

[mumof2000]

Thank you Nananina, sounds very familiar ....i have tried a counsellor ,and didnt really help , weather wasnt the right one ,he didnt go into past really just now and how i should write things down ...then sessions stopped at summer holidays and i didnt bother doing again as i found it useless .

iv tried hypnosis , relaxation , reflexology ,these are all fine till the next worry or anx come along like at moment , i cant stop self checking and its all going round and round in my head , what if this what if that ...

i do have 2 children and yes i am aware of my anx crossing to them ,but i am very careful of things i say/do and i love being a mum and i dont seem to be like this with them when there ill , i honestly dont get over stressed with them at all ,(well no more than most mummys do ) its always with me and my health ..

as a child i do remember being teased , i am the youngest and my dad was a practical joker and would say stuff then say oh im only joking etc , i was bullied at school and teased alot and my parents did have a very volatile relationship ending with them seperating when i was 13 ,i did i think looking back have an anxtious childhood i guess lots of ups and downs ,my mums an alcoholic and its hard with her at times , my dad has remarried and is ok . maybe that is why ..i dont know ..

i would like to feel better and not be like this really i would ...

goodness iv gone on ..sorry but thanks for listening .

[UnderneathTheStream]

To be honest, knowing where it came from doesn?t necessarily help anyway:
I know exactly where mine came from: my mother totally ignored me, apart from when I was ill. But I had to be ?really? ill.
Knowing that hasn?t really helped it!

[mumof2000]

mine i think was triggered 4 years ago when i was ill and seen by specialists tests etc , all was ok in the end , but was totaly stressed and since then iv been anx and worried when i get ill , etc ,

[NanaNina]

mum of 2000 - I think you defintely did not get the right counsellor - sounds like he didn't know what he was doing. There is no point in therapy that does not look at what happened in childhood because thats where all these things start, and any good therapist would know that.

I think the 3rd para of your post says it all really- it sounds like there was quite a lot of anxiety in your childhood that you have shut thelid on (because this is what we do with painful things) as a way of protecting ourselves. Trouble is it doesn't really protect us because these things catch up with us in our adult life.

Underthestream - I know you say it doesn't help to know where the anxieties come from and it doesn't if we just think things through ourself. It needs a good therapist to help us with all this.

There's no quick fix but you need to be able to "unpack" these childhood anxieties and have a good look at them with the help of a good therapist. This helps us to understand where our anxieties in adult life come from and so helps towards a better understanding of why we are anxious and that can help a lot. It somehow stops us feeling that we are a bit mad (if you see what I mean) Then we have to learn how to see our anxieties as part of us but how not to get overwhelmed by them.

Your anxieties are all about health scares but it varies between different people. This is the problem with my sister but the change in her since she started therapy is really encouraging. Also I don't know if you google symptoms and stuff but if you do you must STOP. My sister was always doing this and convincing herself she had somethign awful, but she has now stopped.

It's interesting that you say this started for you 4 years ago when you were ill because this is what happened withmy sister but much longer than 4 years ago. It is a kind of post traumatic stress disorder thing as well.

Can you afford a good therapist as I thinkk this is the way forward. You are obviously a lovely mum because you know not to pass your anxieties on to your children but don't forget kids have a way of picking up things without you realising it, so do try to get some good therapy/counselling, and I'm sure in time you will get over this.

[mumof2000]

Thank you Nana , again all things you say make sense .
i have a hurdle to get over tomorrow then i will think about the councelling and look into poss theropy.

How is your sister now ? how old is she ? is she on MN ?
i am 37
thanks again x

[UnderneathTheStream]

NanaNina makes sense-ignore me!

[mumof2000]

im so frightened , today im going to a dermatologist about a spot thats arrived over 2 weeks ago right next to some sun damage i have on my face , constant self checking it all the time , i went to this same skin clinic only last oct when did all body mole scan all was fine ,i went back 3 weeks later and was seen again with worry about this sin damage but it wasnt red or spot then ....

can SC appear that quick ? did they miss it ? im so terrified (wiping away tears )

sorry i just need someone to tell me will be ok ....i have a good friend coming along with me as im bound to fall to bits ...

..

today looks a bit more red.... as i did a mask last night thinking would help

sorry for waffling on ...x

[NanaNina]

mum of 2000 - hope by now you have been to the skin clinic and been assured that it is not skin cancer. The problem is that it won't stop here because you will start worrying about something else cancer related. Does this help you to see that it is the underlying cause of the worrying that is the problem and not the healthrelated things. You have an an underlying anxiety and in your case it manifests itself in health related stuff but it could be anything, spiders, snakes, flying, dying, etc etc. Anxiety is another word for FEAR. What needs to be tackled is the reason for the FEAR and it will be related to your childhood experiences.

Getting the reassurance from the skin clinic or the next one you go to for some other cancer related scare (and there's a lot of the body to go on........) won't solve the problem. You need to get to the root of the anxiety/fear and the only way you will do this is with the help of a good therapist and I suggest you try to find one who is experienced in mental health. By this I mean someone who understands anxiety and the problems it can cause.

My sister is 50 and not on MN and has had this problem for years, but just kept shutting the lid on it. Now she is starting to look at where her fear all started (in childhood) and how it manifests itself in worries about her health and overwhelms her (just as yours does) she is moving a long way inher understanding - whether it will actually stop her having these fears (all of which are unfounded) about her health - only time will tell.

There is a lot of talk about CBT these days and though I think it can be helpful (it is about changing negative thinking into positive thinking) I still feel that you need help from someone who understands the links between what happened to us in childhood and our adult anxieties, as what we do is re enact our childhood anxieties in our adult life though we do this at an unconscious level, so until someone outside of the situation helps us make these connections we go along being blissfully ignorant..........

Come back and let us know how you are.