I'm putting this here because I dont anyone who's pregnant at the moment to see it.
Fourth baby was born 4 months after a 6 year wait. I was so elated that I've only just started to consider and dwell a little bit if truth be told about the fact that she very nearly didn't make.
Throughout the pregnancy I was convinced that something wasn't right and refused to get attached to the baby because deep down I didn't believe I'd be taking a live baby home with me.
Turned out (after she was born) that she very nearly didn't make it as her cord was so tangled that she physically couldn't reach the exit.
And after a hairy beginning, emergency c section that saved her life, NICU that saved her life again, she's here and she's lovely and I want to leave behind the worry, but I find I can't. She's healthy and happy, but I just look at her and think "what if" all the time. I've got to start living more in the present with her but to be honest I still haven't felt that punch in the stomach of love for her that I felt with the others much sooner. I know she's gorgeous, but I can't feel it iyswim.
What to do?
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Mental health
I can't stop thinking that she could have died
14 replies
duchesse · 08/01/2010 12:26
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