Health Anxiety...driving me crazy

[MissMoopy]

I have had increasingly intrusive health anxiety since having post natal depression after birth of dd 5 years ago. It focuses mainly on my dd and I worry constantly about her health and every little cough, behaviour or nuance is over analysed to the nth degree. I control it better at times, and it is definitely affected by my hormones. i have awful PMT and 2 weeks per month my anxiety goes through the roof. I have tried anti depressants to manage both the PMT and anxiety but hated the "switched off" feeling they gave me.
I also worry about my own health, and get fixated on particular illnesses - always cancer - and have real panics that I will die and leaver her motherless.
My husband is quite supportive but i know it exhausts him at times and to be honest he would think I was mental if I told him half of the things that go on in my head!
I have tried counselling but found the counsellors patronising - I am a drug counsellor so the role reversal felt too uncomfortable. I have made appointment at local counselling centre to have another assessment in hope that I can make some changes as I do not want to live like this, I do not want to pass on my neurosis to my dd and i don't want to keep feeling so worried all the time.
Not sure what I want from you lovely MN'ers, just venting spleen I guess xx

[GingerbreadFolk]

What sort of counselling have you tried?

Have you had CBT?

[MissMoopy]

No it was person centred and way too "laura ashley brigade" for me. I do CBT with clients ironically! Its a case of physician heal thyself! But I can't. I am going to see how this goes, but there is a waiting list, and if it does not help, will talk to GP about CBT referral.

[GingerbreadFolk]

It sounds horrid for you. I too have health anxiety but not as severe. Mine started after a traumatic delivery with dd and is centred mainly around her. I also have cancer and/or MS and/or a brewing aneurysm on a regular basis.

I think counselling of that sort works for some and not others. DH saw a counsellor a few years ago and he couldn't cope with the 'so what do you want to talk about' bit. He didn't want to talk, he knew what the problem was, he wanted to know how to control/fix it.

I do hear CBT recommended for HA quite a lot.

[topsi]

have you tried st johns wort, i have suffered depression for years and tried all manner of anti depressants all with their own side effects. SJW is effective for mild/moderate depression and has also had a great effect on my anxiety levels and insomnia. looks at a web site called 'kelly's st john's wort' make sure you try a good quality product at a high enough dose ie. at least 900mg a day. good luck i hope things start to improve for you x

[Doozle]

Have you seen that website for health anxiety sufferers? Can't remember the name but will look it up for you if you like. It really helped me, as I suffered from HA badly after DD was born. It helped, if only because reading about others' fears, made me see how irrational my own health anxiety was. You know the thing, every minor symptom becomes a life-threatening illness.

Do you know where your HA stems from? Has there been illness in the family (your parents etc?)

[MissMoopy]

I think it is combination of difficult pregnancy, losing my dear grandfather to cancer and stressful job that triggered it off. Also I had PND and ignored it and never dealt with it. I don't feel depressed 99% of the time, I have a lovely life, it is just the anxiety that spoils it. i have tried SJW with some success and maybe I need to give it a go again. I did the usual trick of thinking I was better so stopping taking it. Any recommendations on brand? I know there are so many crap brands out there.
I will look for the website as it might reassure me that it is not just me. Worst thing is I know its stupid and irrational, just can't switch it off!

[topsi]

try perika or kira they r both good brands, if u r in the uk SJW can be very expensive it is cheaper to buy from USA form web site such as 'iherb'.

[MissMoopy]

thanks topsi, will look into it x

[ellielou02]

Oh I could have written your post missmoopy I have good weeks and bad (am a nurse which doesnt help) but every symptom I or DD's have will end up being a major event like you my DH is supportive but gets very frustrated at times. I try and hide it alot of the time but I wish I could just get on with my life and not analyse everything in great detail.

[MissMoopy]

ellielou02, it is nice (?) to hear from someone else who feels the same. I hide it too, from friends, colleagues. I also try to hide it from dh as i know he gets totally sick of me! My worst habit is searching for symptoms on internet, which I know makes me much worse but I find it really hard o stop it.

[thornrose]

This is interesting, my dd is only 10 yo and she has Aspergers and really suffers with anxiety.
Recently it has manifested itself into her worrying about being ill. I didn't know it was called Health Anxiety.
She worries about diabetes, she actually tried to avoid drinking the other day because if she wees too much she sees it as a symptom of diabetes!! She also worries about cancer, meningitis and seizures.
She has been having CBT for a while now and it's quite helpful.
She also tries to look up symptoms but I'm able to stop her, not so easy for you to stop yourself though. She was offered Prozac but I thought that was a bit extreme for a 10 yo.

[ellielou02]

I know what you mean I sometimes think googling it will put my mind at rest but ends up having the opposite effect, I am not so bad with DD's but my Dh works away a month at a time and I am main carer so I feel I cant be ill IYKWIM I have this fear of not being able to look after them properly. I think my GP must be sick of the sight of me but he is very nice and understands but I was never like this before I had DD1 I think its something to do with the pressure of responsibility.

[MissMoopy]

I have managed to stop myslef going to the doctors as much now and I also work really hard on net checking symptoms. It is a daily battle to control it though. Going to give SJW another go I think as well as explore counselling/CBT options.

[Doozle]

Missmoopy, I reckon you are halfway there with recognising you have HA. That's half the battle really.

One thing that helped was seeing it as a disorder. So when I started worrying I was ill, I'd would say to myself "oh it's just the anxiety again, making me worry and think I'm ill again".

It's a horrible thing, dread to think what my doc thought everytime I pitched up!!

[MissMoopy]

That certainly does help, Doozle, and have been doing it over lst few weeks. I try to concentrate on the anxiety being the "illness" rather than my, or others, symptoms.
My doc is very good, and knows I have health anxiety so is very patient. I usually start any consultation with "I am probably being neurotic but...." He explains things well, rationalises things for me and is very good. I am lucky as I know some GP's are not as patient (excuse the pun!!!) I visit a lot less these days so I maybe have got more control than I think?

[Doozle]

Oh definitely, Missmoopy, if you can see a change like that, such as less visits to the doc, you're without doubt making progress and on the way to managing the anxiety yourself.

Good luck. That website is called No More Panic I think. Have a read of the health anxiety threads by other people in the same situation. It does help.