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Mental health

Well, more run down really - thisis just a feel sorry for myself post.

12 replies

Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 09:38

I am feeling like death warmed up today. For some reason, ds3 woke up in the night screaming and whatever dh did for him didn't really work so after half an hour, I had to get up and give him a cuddle before he finally dropped off again. Then I couldn't sleep. I was left tossing and turning for a couple of hours. I need at least 8 hours sleep a night but only got 5-6 last night. I am so worried about so many things and so bogged down with arrangements and organising everyone else, there is no time for me. I suppose it all got up with me last night. Now I feel shakey and not quite here IYKWIM. I sooooooooo want to go back to bed! I keep crying for no reason at all.

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franke · 01/07/2005 09:45

Oh dear. You've just bought a house haven't you? No wonder you're feeling shaky! and then a bad night on top of all that. I don't have any great practical suggestions - but perhaps try to have a 'take it easy day' with your kids? How many do you have at home? I'm having terrible nights too at the mo - ds (14mo) is waking every couple of hours for a milk (very hot here) and we're about to buy a house. Yikes! I don't do cyberhugs , but hope your day gets better.

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 09:52

Thanks for replying. Yes we got the keys to our house yesterday and I don't want to sound spoilt, but it is in a bit of a state and not the lovely place I thought it was. It will take time to put it right and more money than we have. When I was awake last night, the to do list just kept going round and round my head. Plus, we haven't sold our old house yet. The worry is really getting to me.

I only have one little one at home right now, but another of my sons seems to be chronically ill and I never know whether I should send him to school or not...... Oh it just goes on and on!

Where are you franke?

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franke · 01/07/2005 09:59

We're in Germany. I know how those to do lists go round and round and they always seem 10 times bigger and impossible at 3 am. We've done a lot of costings on housing projects lately - we nearly bought a wreck which would have cost as much to do up as we would have paid for it - an exciting but very scary prospect. We pulled back in the end because it was just too big a project for us right now. I'm sure the house you've bought is as lovely as you thought when you first saw it, you just need to clear some of th other stress out of the way first - easier said than done I know. How long has your old house been on the market - have your estate agents given any reason why it might not have sold yet? (My theory is that Spring and Autumn are a good time to sell, Summer and Winter (the week before Xmas to be precise) are a good time to buy)

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 10:05

It has been on the market since February but the market seems very quiet right now. I must admit, that is the thing that worries me most. If only it would sell, I could concentrate on the future.

We saw a house similar to what you described - requiring nearly as much to do it up as it cost to buy - but couldn't face doing all the work.

Are you in southern Germany? Munich maybe? Do you like it?

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franke · 01/07/2005 10:10

No, we're in Frankfurt. It's growing on me. dh is German and we moved here last year. It's a nice quality of life but I don't speak much German (I understand lots but have no confidence in speaking). It's a big shock to suddenly be so dependent on dh after being so independent in the UK - I couldn't take the kids to the doctor if there was a serious problem, can't deal with day to day issues like talking to the local council, the plumber, whatever. But it's gradually improving. The property market here is very different to the UK - much slower and you can't make much money on it. Germany isn't really a nation of homeowners. BUT we need a bigger place and it will be cheaper than renting so we're on the verge of putting in an offer.

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 10:15

It can be a culture shock I imagine. A dear friend of mine grew up in Germany (Munich) and only moved back to England when she was 16. She has been back again since of course. She amuses me endlessly with stories of the Bavarians. I once went on a school exchange to Giessen which I believe is quite near Frankfurt. I keep thinking a holiday in Germany would be a good idea one day (I did do A level German so should be able to say a word or two but I think I have forgotton the lot!) Where would you recommend for a holiday?

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franke · 01/07/2005 10:22

You know, I've actually got no idea! There are some really lovely areas near us - the Rhein area and all that and plenty of really nice day trips, but I just don't know how I would go about arranging a holiday here. Personally I would always head for the hills - so South I suppose and combine it with a bit of Austria (I really like Vienna) But Berlin is also brilliant and could be combined with a foray into Poland. What about Slovenia - we keep meaning to go there, it's a land of fairytale castles and beautiful mountains. And in most of the former-east they speak quite good German.

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 10:26

Interesting you say that. I feel sure a country as large as Germany must have some beautiful areas and holiday destinations, but I couldn't think of any either!

I have been to the Alps loads of times. Vienna interests me (Mozart and all that) and Berlin for the political history. Is the Black Forest any good do you think?

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franke · 01/07/2005 10:31

I believe the Black Forest is one of the Holiday hotspots and is supposed to be really beautiful. And actually the North Coast is supposed to nice but quite expensive and probably unpredictable weatherwise. I suppose my problem is that it would be a bit like going on hols in the UK which is why I would head south where you will at least feel you are in another country.

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 10:32

Is this it for you then? I mean is it a permanent thing for you living in Germany?

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franke · 01/07/2005 10:52

Well this is the question we're constantly asking ourselves. The short answer is "no". We're here for at least 5 years but then we'll see. We were in London before and I think even now I couldn't go back there, but I would fancy moving back to elsewhere in the UK or even moving on somewhere else (English-speaking) abroad.

ds has just woken up and is demanding my undivided (one-fingered typing here while he clings to me!). Let's talk again. Would it help you to list what needs doing in your house and start to break it down a bit? Can you envisage doing any of the work yourselves?

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Lonelymum · 01/07/2005 18:20

We are not DIYers - and even if we were, dh works long hours and we have four children - so we are not likely to have much time, but on the other hand, we can't afford professional decorators. We are having an architect come round next week to discuss various ideas so I think we will have to take it from there.

Thanks for chatting earlier. It is good to just chat away and not think too much about things I can't influence right now.