Ex dp has committed suicide need advice on how ds will be affected

[casawasa]

My husband and I have been separated for more then 3 years but he has suffered from depression for at least 20 years. He finally succeeded in killing himself 2 weeks before Christmas. We lived very close to each other and he had our son 3 nights a week. Does anyone have advice or can recomend resources to help me deal with this in a way our 5 year old son can understand?

Any help would be very useful
Thanks

[pottycock]

Oh god I am so sorry for your loss. Your poor DS. I have no idea how I would deal with this but he will need a lot of reassurance that his Daddy loved him very much.

[bethylou]

How awful for you both. Children do deal with death very differently to adults and it depends on their age and stage of understanding as to how much they will take on board about it. I don't know which area of the country you are in, but in Gloucestershire there is a charity called Winston's Wish which supports bereaved children. I believe they have a website which might be a good place to start. Sorry I can't be more help.

[MitchyInge]

am very sorry to hear this

have you been in touch with Cruse at all? they do some specialist work (I think) with children bereaved by suicide

what does your son know so far?

[mumonthenet]

am so sorry casa.

Can't offer any advice though, except maybe www.uk-sobs.org.uk/

[casawasa]

Thanks everyone. That's 3 useful resources. DS is fine but obviously I want to start talking about things in the right way as the questions and issues will only get tougher over the years.

[PacificDogwood]

I am sorry for what you and maybe even more so your son are going to have to go through.

There is bereavement and then there is suicide to come to grips with. Depending on your son's age, you and him might benefit from some outside help to come to terms with this.

Here are some suggestions I am hoping will be of some help:
Childhood Bereavement Network
Helping children cope with grief (book)
CRUSE

I very much hope both of you will be able to make your peace with your son's dad's death.