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Mental health

Scared about going to GP in case he doesn't believe me

10 replies

Juillet · 25/11/2009 19:52

Sorry to ask for advice/reassurance on here but I thought others might have been through this.

I've been on DLA for a couple of years now due to depression and anxiety.

Recently had the renewal and of course they cut it back, managed to get mobility component reinstated by ringing up and stating some of the problems...but they're still wanting to cut the care bit.

Basically I've got representation sorted out in case they won't reconsider and we need to appeal - but am utterly terrified of going to appeal as I've been to a tribunal before and it wrecked me for months before and after. I just want to keep on with the barely coping thing, rather than being a wreck, because my children need me to cope and so does my best friend who is very ill.

Anyway I've sent in a long winded, detailed letter describing everything I do, feel and think on a daily basis and how it affects me.

My lovely social lady from social services called today and said she thinks I need to get a 'supporting statement' from my GP, and has emailed me a letter to give him asking him to confirm I have these problems.

The thing is, although my old GP was happy to do this, the new one doesn't know me - he has my notes obviously and his colleague referred me for psychotherapy a few months ago after I scored 'severe depression' on the PHQ test. But I am very worried about it, I have this idea in my head that he will look at me and say 'There is nothing wrong with you, is there?' in a condescending manner.
I'm frightened about it - do you think he could do this? Could he write to them saying 'this person is fine and I don't agree with her statement' or is this just me being disproportionately anxious? He's a very sturdy German doctor and I don't know his attitude to mental health, but wonder if he would just think it was all nonsense.

Deep down I think I feel like I shouldn't be getting 'free money' - I have reasonably good days like everyone. I'm just so mixed up by it all.

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madmouse · 25/11/2009 20:35

Gosh girl it is hard to get DLA, I know, my son gets it for cerebral palsy. You need to fill in this horrendous form and it all needs to be backed up by evidence.

So my first thought was that your depression and anxiety must be pretty bad.

The fact that they reinstated the mobility part over the phone means they are well aware that you need to have someone with you when you go out.

So you feel a fraud and you worry that a new doctor will unveil this. He would take a huge risk. If your mental state is unstable a comment like that could send you over the edge and he will be aware of that. The fact that he is German doesn't mean he doesn't understand mental health (hey I'm Dutch and I do )

If he does dismiss your problem without knowing you well and paying heed to your notes you have cause for
a) a complaint
b) a second opinion

and yes both of those will freak you out. But I am trying to show that your thinking is really coloured visibly by severe anxiety and not necessarily founded in reality.

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Juillet · 25/11/2009 20:59

Thankyou so very much, Madmouse...no offence with the German comment btw, I am a quarter German myself

but he is that sort of German iykwim!

Thanks for your kind message. See the thing is, maybe if your son, or other people with say a physical problem really do need someone with them when they go out...but for me, I manage - I might come home without any shopping because I got freaked out in the shops, or I might have a few days of high anxiety when I have to travel somewhere unknown, but I survive it and that's the reason I feel so guilty about applying.

Of course it'd be nice if I could have someone there but usually I don't. It shouldn't be so hard to get for people such as your son, and I feel I am taking money away from those who really deserve and need it.

Hope that makes sense.

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madmouse · 25/11/2009 21:18

hmm my son is too young for mobility - but he would SURVIVE crawling to the shops and back. Do you get my point?

If you have a family to feed coming back without shopping is a problem.

You really need it or you would not get it. Lots of people who really need it need to appeal before they get what they deserve.
Because it is so hard to get.

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Juillet · 25/11/2009 21:26

Thankyou...yes that does make sense and I hope you're right, I have seen some awful stories from people who wouldn't survive and still get turned down.

It's a dreadful system but there we are. I hope you have a good long run of it before your renewal comes up.

Thanks for helping me feel less upset x

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blushingm · 26/11/2009 21:24

juillet i'm in exactly the same position as you (i think)

I had middle rate care last year and even though my symptons haven't changed an d my renewal was worded exactly the same this year i've been told it's being stopped. It feels like i am blagging it as there is no proof of my disability (depression and ocd) like a blood test or an physical evidence and people will think i'm making it all up and will soon get found out

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Juillet · 27/11/2009 07:33

Hiya Blushing. I'm really sorry you're going through this too.

Have you got anyone to support your statements?

I've seen the GP now and he was lovely, agreed to write a letter based on what the social services lady sent him - he just said 'do you feel this accurately describes your situation?' and I said 'yes', and he was really kind.

He did ask what was being done to help, ie who had I seen in the mental health dept and when would I be getting treatment. Luckily that's all being dealt with as I was put on the waiting list for CBT a while back.

But it feels like jumping through hoops doesn't it. At times like this I just wish I was well enough to get a blooming job.

Plus I always think everyone at school etc must think 'she's a single mum, how come she doesn't look like she buys everything from Asda?' when actually you try really hard not to look like you are struggling, mentally or financially, because of the shame of it. It's probably far more transparent than we think...on the letter my SS woman wrote it said 'she tells me she does not care about her living conditions, and this was certainly apparent when I visited her'
I did tidy up!!!

Are you going to ask them to reconsider the decision? Tbh I think that they rely on people nOT feeling up to the fight. Which is cruel and wrong

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madmouse · 27/11/2009 08:26

Juillet I am so pleased to hear about the doctor's reaction!!

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Juillet · 27/11/2009 10:08

Thanks Madmouse

It's always great when someone believes you're struggling, rather than telling you you don't qualify for this or that and need to prove it.

Funnily enough since he was so great, I have spent the last 24 hours cleaning up the house, and making a real effort...it's like I'm 'allowed' to try and get better now, rather than keep on in the same vein and not even try because if I try, someone might look at me or see the house looking better, and think it's easy and I'm fine...iyswim.

It's such a paradox and the DWP sending these horrid letters just makes people feel worse, and cope worse.

Fingers crossed that they take the dr's statement into account.

Thankyou again for all your support. It really helped.

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blushingm · 27/11/2009 21:20

hi juillet - glad your doc was so supportive!!

My dad is going to appeal the decision for me - he's a wlfare rights officer and told me sometimes if the are busy the will just turn people down just to get it off the back log. I don't want to get my hopes up as eerytime a DWP brown envelope comes through the door my heart sinks. These 'decision makers' have no medical training/expertise/qualifications etc yet they make decisions using a system and information they don't fully understand. I think with mental health problems is hard enough to explain to proessionals how you are feeling/thinking etc etc let alone on a form designedto cover everyone and to make unqualified pople understand

trust me i'd rather be well than have to go through such a demeaning process

,,,,,and breathe....

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Juillet · 28/11/2009 07:40

oh blimey. That would explain why the decisions make zero sense and ignore everything you wrote/ contradict themselves!!! How ridiculous is that.

I know what you mean about the brown envelopes. It's just awful isn't it, knowing someone is deciding your case completely arbitrarily after you have tried so hard to fill in that form.

I wish my Dad was a welfare rights officer that's very useful!! Hope he can phrase it all in the right way...the trouble is you don't actually know what they are asking, so you could end up mentioning all the irrelevant stuff and miss out what counts. Thank goodness for people like your Dad. The woman I have onside is something similar and she just straight away knows her way through it...I had to get referred to her before she could help though which took a while, so ended up doing my own letter. Hope it cuts it, I don't want to go to tribunal.

Good luck...let me know how you get on. xx

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