i feel irritated at my baby

[ihavenewsockson]

DS2 is 8mts old. wakes up every night at different times. not hungry. just wants to be jiggled back to sleep.
I've tried pick up, put down , wake to sleep, cc (cry it out) for about 40mins and nothing works.
i am knackered. DS1 is 2 next month and doens't sleep in the day (DS2 has 2 naps) so I am on my feet entertaining a toddler all day, then up in the nite too.

i feel irritated and a bit angry at DS2. I KNOW it's not his fault. He's started yelling during the day, really lous, ear piercing screams whenever he is not being picked up or entertained by me. It's doing my head in. it's 24/7 and i'm so tired.

i don't know what to do. i'm starting to resent him adn feel that he is manipulating me.

DH has an hour commute to work and works with power tools but gets up friday- sunday with him. DH leaves@6am and is back @6pm during the week.
Even when DH gets up, i have to wake his as he (genuinly) doens't hear the baby. which means that every night i'm woken by a screaming banshee in the next room.

i'm knackered, DS1 has bad days wheere he has been woken in the nite too. It's making me irritable and not a nice mummy.

Anm i going crazy? am i a terrible person?

[ihavenewsockson]

sorry that should read NOT cry it out, i did the 1minute, 2 mins, 5 mins. keep going in and resettling him.

Never left him to cry it out as don't want to break his trust.

[DorotheaPlentighoul]

NO, you're just knackered and it can really affect your attitude, your mood and ability to cope. Dont be too hard on yourself, but do keep reminding yourself that your baby is not old enough to manipulate you -- he's just a tiny creature and he has no way of knowing how hard this is on you. (I know you know this, but it is so easy to let the tiredness twist your thoughts, so keep remembering.)

Can you get any support or help from parents, in-laws or other family or friends? Don't know how you are feeding but if you ever use bottles of EBM or formula, could someone you trust take him for a few hours and give you a break now and then?

[ihavenewsockson]

my parents are toxic.

in-laws are in their 70s.

i would feel guilty bringing someone in to help. it just the nights that kill me.

DH has suggested that i go to a travel lodge for a night. he'll stay here and i can get a good nite's sleep but i feel so guilty.

what if the feeling doens;t go away.

my mum hates me.
i don;t hate DS2 but i don't want to resent him at all.

[ihavenewsockson]

thank you for replying.

[DorotheaPlentighoul]

Maybe you should take up your DH's offer. I'm sure he would rather you did, than see you struggling on without at least trying it. It sounds like he really wants to help and the night off would do you a world of good!

Lots of people here will know how you're feeling, you're def not alone in this

I expect to be posting something similar come springtime when my DC2 arrives. I coped very badly with broken sleep first time around, it is really horrendous. Just promise yourself, it's not forever, it WILL get better. I like thinking about the fact that one day they will be teens and they will sleep all the time

[LadyoftheBathtub]

Oh please take up your DH's offer - just one night's proper sleep could make you feel more human again, obviously it won't fix everything but take it if you can. Your DH gets a full night's sleep regularly, and you're working just as hard.

You are not terrible and not going crazy either, but lack of sleep is one thing that is sure to make you feel like you are. It won't always be like this. But if the odd night on your own can keep you going meanwhile, do it.

[overmydeadbody]

You are obviously very very tired, you poor thing!

Please try not to blame your DS2 or resent him, he's only a baby and certainly not doing it deliberately.

Could you try co-sleeping? I know with my DS he would fall back to sleep much quicker in the night if he was in bed with me, and I then got a better night's sleep.


Keep reminding yourself that this is just a stage and he will grow out of it, before long you will have two little boys who sleep though the night. they don;t stay like this for ever.

[DorotheaPlentighoul]

The feeling will go away -- the resentment I mean. You already know it's not a real resentment but the product of exhaustion. You're being awfully tough on yourself, pleas give yourself a break, OK? Not end of world to let him cry sometimes either, as long as you know he is fed etc.

[DorotheaPlentighoul]

off to take a shower at last [minger emoticon] but glad to see you have some other replies. Go to the Travelodge!

[ihavenewsockson]

thank you all so much.

the collective voice of reason.

this too will pass.i hope.

thank you again. i won't be back for a bit as i'm taking DS1 for a walk.
i'm not ignoring all your good advice.
thanks again.

[hairyclaireyfairy]

Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, put some earplugs in let your hubby deal with it or go to the travelodge for the night. You will be no use to anyone if you cannot function anymore. The guilt feelings are normal that happens to most mums'
Good luck love, been there and got the tshirt xx