wrong diagnosis?

[muddle78]

ive been diagnosed bipolar 5 years ago. i displayed unquestionably bipolar behaviour most of my life. however, it has been over two years since i had an up phase? and have been horrendously depressed for those years until very recently. i would say i am 'normal' mood now with additional sleeping lol! surely if diagnosis of bipolar was right i wouldn't have had 2 whole years of stable misery? i used to have at least two episodes per year? strange, any ideas? starting to seriously doubt original diagnosis!

[ErikaMaye]

Would it be helpful or not so if I listed the number of "certain diagnosis of..." I've had over the past few years?? In defence, its never just as simple as diagnosing, say, a broken leg, but still. If you're concerned, see your mental health team / GP? I hope you feel better soon. x

[muddle78]

ErikaMaye many thanks for your reply, im not really worried as im not taking medications anymore so it really makes no difference! just curious really :-)

[MitchyInge]

it's the nature of the beast to go for ages between episodes, probably what separates bipolar from personality pathology

my cycle of moods can range from 3 yearly to annually although once had 2 mood swings in a single year

[MitchyInge]

'stable misery' doesn't really sound like being well though

do you take anything for the depressive side of things?

[skihorse]

Possible, I think there has been a huge wave of people incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar - e.g., Kerry Katona for one who screams BPD, not bipolar.

Bipolar of course is a chemical imbalance which needs to be balanced through uppers and downer type meds... if you were for example prescribed only ADs then as a true bipolar you would go fucking mental high. But it's an easy label to give people and it's cheaper to deal with than many other disorders. . I also believe that bipolar is sometimes used as an excuse for generally "shoddy behaviour" - I am not in any way suggesting this is true of your case... but I have seen evidence elsewhere!

I'm sorry if I seem negative etc., etc. - it's just that I've been in and out of the mental health system in the UK since I was 18 and it was only when I was 29/30 that the Dutch mental health service sat me down, interrogated me for hours and hours with multiple psychiatrists, 1000s (literally!) of questions that I actually got a decent diagnosis, and treatment, and - as of yesterday - my SANE certificate. 5 years of intensive treatment!

[MitchyInge]

how do you get a SANE certificate?

I've resisted my diagnosis every step of the way until worn down by hospital admissions - recently spent some time with someone from the Institute of Psychiatry who is convinced am the genuine article although added cyclothymic personality traits as (argh I forget the word for 'basis of') well, basis of the bipolar.

Every day I resent taking my meds, all 3 of the bastards, knowing they can cause irreparable harm but it is the least worst combo I've been on.

[MitchyInge]

FTAOD my diagnosis predates the popularity of bipolarity, in fact hails from mesolithic era when it was still called 'manic depressive psychosis' which I prefer as it sounds much more dramatic

[skihorse]

mitchyinge - yep, very nearly spelled it the other way! Well at first it was thought (as a teen) that it was straight severe depression... then they went on to talk bipolar. By the time I received my official diagnosis around 5-6 years ago they'd decided that I wasn't depressive at all - it's just my lows were the down side of feeling shit about Borderline Personality Disorder - and of course I had the associated highs with that. I then entered a therapy (Schema therapy) programme which is able to CURE (for real!) BPD people... and here we are. Yesterday was my last ever appointment, the previous one had been March, before than January. So the psychiatric unit will now right a letter to my GP saying something along the lines of "She's not a nutter anymore!"

It sounds to me as though your diagnosis is the real deal - I mean from the POV that you've actually seen a proper real certified psychiatrist, rather than a rushed GP. The meds must grind you down though - they allowed me carte blanche at the chemist when I was first diagnosed - weight gain/sleep/blah blah you know the score!

[MitchyInge]

it's really good to hear that BPD is being treated as a diagnosis that's subject to change - there's a word for that which I've also forgotten - glad to hear you've had decent treatment

[MitchyInge]

yes, never saw a GP as had no idea there was anything wrong - just got taken straight to hospital, not passing GO, and was in a bit of revolving door for a while until diagnosed and stabilised on appropriate treatment

the good thing about it becoming more widely publicised is that I feel less embarrassed about it and more sort of acceptable as a human being as opposed to an unpredictable danger to society or whatever

[skihorse]

You're right - it is becoming more recognised, but I think the downside is every Tom, Dick & Harry acting like an arsehole is using it (bipolar) as an excuse. Of course it's also being used as a derogatory term, much as schizophrenia once was.

Yes, I'm thrilled that BPD is cureable - at least in my area. Right now not many health trusts/countries are seeing this/doing this/funding this. I sometimes think fate brought me to this particular town. It breaks my heart when I read the stories of girls on here who've been diagnosed BPD and are just given meds like sweeties. There was nothing chemically wrong with me which needed to be fixed, although of course when you're going in to a meltdown you can't knock a good handful of Zyprexa! ... but I feel very privileged to be able to continue my life med-free! (3 years and counting) wahey!

[skihorse]

No, that's not strictly true - it's not a life free of meds that I'm thankful for, it's having been reprogrammed so that my thought processes are more sensible and in keeping with the norms and I've stopped hurting myself through the many, many bad behaviours frequently exhibited. I'm living now rather than simply lurching from one crisis to the next.

[muddle78]

ok, AD's do send me on a 'chemical high'. so they medicated me with AD's and olanzapine (to prevent mania from AD's alone) unfortunately this combination made me low but not suicidal and fat fat fat ( 3 stone in 5 months) also, was zombiefied. previous to this i was seriously depressed for approx 6-12 months (before geting help). stopped all meds suddenly because i was not functioning on them and became very unbelievably depressed. mother took me on holiday and i started taking st johns wort max. dose. came back from hols and got pregnant (planned) many of my psychological probs i believe come from having stillborn son 6 years ago. only now @ 5 months pregnant and approx 7-8 months med free am i starting to feel ok. but in total been depressed for 2 years. prior to last 2 years had mania/depressive cycles yearly or at least hyper-episodes if not full blown manic ones. part of me misses the highs but the sensible side thinks knows im much better off without them. just really hard going through depression without hope of a high somewhere in the future. had hoped bipolar missdiagnosed as feel i would be a better parent if i could be sure i wouldn't have epiosodes in the future and i fear the meds after my experiences. i feel last treatment set me back horendously and that had i just waited my natural happy cycle would have eventually returned but instead i have suffered the depression for much longer.

[skihorse]

Olanzapine is indeed wicked stuff - I should've bought shares in Haribo whilst on that! And... 3 stone is perfect normal for Olanzapine, I did about the same. I was a happy gooey-headed barely-functioning always-sleeping sweetie-munching moron - I was so off my tree I hadn't even realised the weight-gain was so significant, it was the pdocs who pulled me off that.

They then put me on Risperdal - which didn't make me as dopey and I didn't get the weight gain... in fact I ended up speedy on it and they pulled me off that too tsk! But it might be worth a shot for you.

Have you spoken to a psychiatrist in depth about this? Are you having therapy? Therapy really might help with the way you can interact with the baby coming and when it's old enough to understand so that you can explain what's happening and so that you're not a "horrible parent" but instead, simply a woman who gets ill sometimes.

I'm not surprised going through a stillborn birth sent you in to a tailspin - I'd have thought that was very much normal!

[MitchyInge]

just chipping in to agree about olanzapine

am on quetiapine which is marginally better but am still heavier than I was even at full term pregnancy, grrrrr, despite v. physical lifestyle

[muddle78]

thanks skihorse, nope got rid of mad peeps (pdocs ect) and not involving them as far as i can help it again lol! my friend said that she doesn't know anyone who has lost a baby/child and not had psychatric issues... hopeing still that bipolar behaviour was a response and that i will be miraculasly cured insofar as my new son is fine.

ps loved your "happy gooey-headed barely-functioning always-sleeping sweetie-munching moron" i was same except i wasn't happy :-P

[muddle78]

umm,itchyminge mitchyinge :-P im + 3 stone when i started this pregnancy and am huge 5ft 6" and approx 15 stone at 5 months pg arrgh!!!!!