Hi LissyGlitter. Very sorry to hear this but if it's any consolation I am in the same boat though not as severe as yours. I have had this several times before but never for as long.
I also am not on drugs as b/f but am not finding my mental health worker much help. So I am also looking for the same thing as you.
Overall, I think it is trying to change thought patterns from negative to positive...but it is no easy thing!
The thing I have found helps a lot is actually hearing about people worse off than me! I then see i'm lucky compared to some. This only works when I'm there with the people themselves. I actually feel worse and more guilty when I start thinking at home I'm lucky yet I STILL feel the way I do. That's not helpful and if you do this you need to stop and force yourself to do something else. I think part of the trick is to recognise WHEN you're thinking negatively and then find ways to break it and one of those ways is to "get out of yourself" IYSWIM. I find you get so absorbed in how your feeling it gets a bit whirlpool-like and obsessive. I don't know if you feel that? Actually as soon as I start doing things or taking an interest in other people I think less about how I'm feeling.
E.g. It took a lot of effort to get out to a group today but so glad I went because i) it was a distraction from problems and how I'm feeling, ii) I met people someone with worse problems than me which made me feel fortunate, iii) I also met a really nice girl and got a very useful contact through someone else.
There is one really good thing to say about depression in my experience: Small efforts can reap huge benefits and often in more than one way.
I also have the unmanageable house problem. I find it upsets me less if I try and sort something out as soon as i spot it, otherwise it builds up and seems impossible. Little by little is the answer to tackling it I think. If it all gets too much I try to get a change of scene - a walk, a coffee out, or if I'm not up to that, even to do something in a different room and come back refreshed.
I have a lot of anxiety and sleeping problems (plus a newborn) but if you're having problems there I can let you know how I'm trying to address that one.
I have the suicide thoughts too and know exactly what you mean in your description. But I know it's worse when I'm sleep deprived so I try to sleep or if i cant force myself to do a task til i am so tired I have to sleep. I think spending too much time on the computer is not a good thing overall too, even though it appears to be a useful distraction. I think it probably actually fuels the obsessiveness.
Dont know what to say about the flying things as i haven't had that (though in the past I have had the jumpiness thing at any noise, even quiet ones). Did you mention that to the MHW? Have you any intuitions as to what might be causing it?
About looking after yourself, remember that this is one of the most important times in your unborn baby's entire life for development so try to get your 5 a day for him / her. Know also that even a small difference here will help you feel better a) because it's good for your baby, b) because it's good for you, c) because you will feel and know you're doing something good and positive! d) if you're eating well and looking after yourself you are setting a good example for your older child.
Also remember that at the end of all this - you get a baby! And it is all worth it. If you have an older child and you know how adorable they can be you will know this already!
Keep good photos to look at to remind you of this when you forget it. But if you start crying, put them away, take a deep breath and try to do something that is going to improve your life even in a tiny way, like wiping the surfaces or cleaning the loo!
Try not to think about the worse possible scenarios (e,g, I may become really ill). I did this a lot, esp when pg and became really obsessive about things. Consider realistically what the chances are of whatever the scenario you are worrying about at the time actually happening. Better still, remember there are plenty of problems to deal with in the immediate present, so let the future take care of itself for the moment! You have the opportunity in the present moment to influence that future!
These are some of the things that have helped me and hope they do you too.
Another thing to try is go back to your dr and tell them you are not getting the support you feel you need from your team. It sounds to me you are not getting the support - saying being pregnant is hard is not good enough. I am in the same position at the mo but personally have decided for now that as I have a lot going on I would rather try and deal with it alone than fight to make the system work. My job is to make me better, not to make them do their jobs properly! You could try putting that line to your dr & see what happens though (I might too!). Better go to your dr than try to tell the MHT that though and let him sort it out. It's good they know that sort of thing about you and about the MHT anyway.