Suffering with postnatal depression and extreme anxiety

[serenityfields]

I'm new to mumsnet. Have a 7 week old and have been diagnosed with pnd and prescribed Sertraline. Anxiety has been horrific and went off the scale when I started taking the Sertraline. Stopped taking the drug but am now trying again, initially taking a third of a tablet a day. (third day on this dose today) Anxiety still bad and can't really be left on my own (feel pathetic and embarassed for this). Struggling to see that I will ever be able to cope with my baby. Have had to give up breastfeeding because of the stress. Been recommended to get cognitive behavioural therapy, but would like a recommendation. Does anyone know of a cbt therapist with experience of pnd in the Hammersmith area of London? Any support appreciated.

[Danceaway]

Gosh I wish I could help, i don't have experience of pnd/treatments but please please bear in mind that what you are going through is temporary and you will get through it. CBT meant to be excellent, hope you get a good reccy. Please don't feel pathetic, so many women suffer pnd and at the time it's the worst feeling in world. I've had depression in the past and I know the feeling that it would be easier to stop everything than carry on when everything seems so bleak - but really truly honestly, there is hope, you will get better and be able to really enjoy motherhood, it just takes time.
Maybe keep a diary? I find that getting thoughts down on paper can help ease tension in my mind.

[reikizen]

No recommendations just a bit of virtual support really. So many women suffer as you are following the birth of a child and they are all good mothers, just as I am sure you are. So fantastic that you were able to reach out for help as many women can't get to that point. You are not pathetic, you are strong and capable but we all need help from time to time. You will be able to cope with your baby, and I think therapy is a brilliant idea. Good luck. Have you contacted any support groups in the mean time?

[lizziemun]

Bump to see if anyones around who may be able to help you.

[ouchitreallyhurts]

Hello Serenity

I suffered terrible PND with anxiety - I was also treated on sertraline (which I believe saved my life, quite literally)

Have you been referred to a perinatal specialist? this is a psychiatrist that has a special interest in emotional illness due to pregnancy/birth. If not, please ask - you are in London, you should have several available.
there are some wonderful specialist units based at london hospitals too - I think the one at The Middx woudl be your nearest and you don't have to be in area for referral.

CBT is wonderful IMO but you might find that you want the meds to balance you out a little first.
Also its worth considering if you had a traumatic birth or pregnancy which might have led to yoru current anxiety - if so, it might be that you need to have your birth trauma treated which in turn will help with current symptoms. I have some friends (former colleagues ) who specialise in postnatl PTSD in London if this is the case.

Please dont' feel pathetic about worrying about being alone - I used to literally hang onto my dh's leg as he tried to leave for work - I was sobbing and begging him not to leave me. You have done nothing wrong, this illness has taken a hold of you but its not your fault - it is temporary, treatable and one day in the not too distant future it will be a memory - please hang onto that.

xx

[TBCoalman]

This book is very good.

[moodlumthehoodlum]

I suffered with PND, and didn't really get the help I needed until recently (dd is five),but now I am on citalopram and it has done wonderful things for me. Not sure how it would help with the anxiety, but I wish I had had it earlier because it wd have helped me enormously in those first few weeks when I used to call DH back from work hysterical most days.

Lots of MNers will be able to offer virtual support, so you have come to the right place.

[serenityfields]

Thanks to those who posted messages in reply to mine. What does "bump" mean please?

It helps to feel I am not alone. Things feel rather insane and bleak much of the time. Keep wondering whether I'm suffering from some kind of psychosis, where I fear pretty much everything connected with my baby, rather than PND. I obsess about every detail at the moment.

[controlfreakythecontrolfreak]

do you have real life support at the moment serenity? am guessing this is your first baby...? it is a huge huge adjustment for some people and takes time.... but things will get better. take the help on offer, be kind to yourself. good luck.

[controlfreakythecontrolfreak]

... "bump" means just posting to push your thread back into active conversations so people see it....

[tohellandback]

Hi, i suffered from PND but did not realise it until i found myself walking the streets with a crying baby and feeling so cholostrophic just because i felt i knew every litte detail that surrounded me, the leaves on the tree, the cracks in the pavement...i would hide if i saw someone, i would not answer the phone in case it was someone apart from my DH, that went on for at least 5 months, when all hell broke loose in my personal life, which i wont go into but personal circumstances forced me to go to the doctors and speak with them.
I would cry, all the time, fear i was not a good mother. I wanted a routine and could not get one, DD was a handful, the breastfeeding was a nightmare, the sleepless nights were and still are torture.
The feelings you have are so complex it is hard to explain and you do feel that you are going mad. DD is nearly 2, sounds a long way off from where you are now, but believe me when i say that as quickly as you have fallen into this depression, one day you will turn a corner and when you least expect it and realise that you feel a little better.
Good Luck and post if you need to. I am new to mumsnet and the messages to me have already helped!

[LackaDAISYcal]

hi serenity. Welcome to mumsnet and congratulations on the birth of your baby

I'm sorry to hear you are so ill and that you have had to stop BFing. Please don't feel pathetic and embarrased; it's a horrible illness caused by hormonal/chemical imbalances that you have, and not something that you have any control over and is terribly common. I think that increased anxiety can be an initial side effect of the sertraline, but like all the side effects, this should pass. If it isn't, is there another drug that they can put you on? If you have already stopped breastfeeding, then there is a wider range of drugs that can be prescribed.

I'm also taking sertraline for PND/anxiety/postnatal OCD. It started in pregnancy with my DD 2 years ago, and I was very ill by the time I saw someone about it. I was referred by my GP to the perinatal mental health service who changed my prescription from fluoxetine to sertraline. I was getting better and then discovered I was pregnant again when DD was 8 months old and have had good care throughout the pregnancy and into the postnatal period. Six months post natal I really feel that my life is pretty much back on track. It is awful being so ill and feeling so helpless to do anything about it, but it does get better and you aren't alone; there is lots of support on here .

Anyway, I'm not local to you so can't help with the recommendation for a CBT therapist, but is there a perinatal mental health service that your GP can refer you to? I've found that dealing with a mental health team who are dedicated to working with pregnant and post natal mums has been a lifeline to me. Also, re the CBT, is this not done on the NHS? And if you are quite ill then surely you will be a priority case? (although I realise that mental health provision is pretty patchy up and down the country; that old NHS postcode lottery again!)

[LackaDAISYcal]

I've just had a quick google and found a few links for you

Community Mental Health Service

NHS CBT services

sure start scheme

I'm not sure how local this last one is, but it might give you a starting point or they may be able to advise of something more local to you.

hope that helps

[serenityfields]

Thanks for further messages and thanks for the links Daisy. I have been assigned a psychiatrist on the NHS who is female. Don't think she is specifically for perinatal mental health, but she seems to have quite a lot of experience with pnd. Also, I have my appointments with her at a centre which is right opposite my road, and these details help when you have a baby! I'm due to see her again on Wednesday so will discuss my meds further (am currently on quarter dose but plan to be brave and increase to half dose on Weds). I have been referred for CBT on the NHS but the waiting list means I could be waiting months... even given my situation. I've also been referred to the Family Support arm of the Sure Start scheme so do hope I'm contacted by someone soon!
Husband is away on a work trip next week so currently trying to get help in to keep me safe in his absence. So tired!
xx