I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with my Dad's prognosis of inoperable cancer

[LaTrucha]

My dearly loved Dad has yesterday been told that he has inoperable cancer of the pancreas. This comes hard on the heels of the death of my mother in October (they were divorced) and the diagnosis of my brother with severe mental illness, pancreatitis and diabetes.

Mum's death was very sudden, and a shock. My brither's illness grinds us all down constantly. My dad has always been the centre of our family, and will leave a much younger wife who we all love very much.

I just really don't know how I'm goint ot get thrugh the next few months. If you have any stories, I would be glad to know them. I'd prefer it if they could be encouraging. I don't mean that he will recover or last for ten years more or anything like that. I just want to know if I'm ever going to sleep again, as I don't feel I will.

[LaTrucha]

Sorry for poor typing.

[Winetimeisfinetime]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis and your brother's illness too.

I don't have any stories other than to say you will get through this somehow. I lost my stepfather to cancer a couple of years ago and my younger brother killed himself last November. At times it has felt like more than I can bear but you just have to.

Try and treat yourself as kindly as possible whilst you are under so much stress - take pleasure in the small things where you can and try not to feel guilty when you do. You need to keep strong to be there as much as you can for your Dad so look after yourself too.

Best wishes to you and your Dad for whatever the future holds.
xx

[LaTrucha]

Thanks wimetimeisfinetime.

I usually take things pretty easily, but I honestly feel so bad I don't know how I'm going to get through the next months without tranquilisers. And I'm really not a nervous person usually.

[Winetimeisfinetime]

Would it be worth talking to your gp to see what he could suggest to help you through this stressful time. They may feel you need to take something to take the edge off things and there is no shame in that. Maybe some councelling to give you an outlet rather than drugs.

You may well surprise yourself and cope better than you think - I am quite a stressy type and although things are very tough, I'm holding things together which I never thought I would be able to do.
There have been some awful situations that I have had to deal with both with my stepfather's cancer and my brother's death that if someone had told me in advance about I would have said that I wouldn't cope with it, but I have and have shouldered more of the burdens than others who I would have deemed stronger than me. You don't realise how much inner strength you have until it is put to the test.

You will cope with it and will rise to the challenges as they come up because there is no other option. Just take all the support you can and look after yourself as much as possible.

[LaTrucha]

Thankyou.