I need someone to talk me down from the edge... I'm pg. have a beautiful DS and my DH is trying hard..

[Jackaroo]

but I just don't think I can keep going.

This is probably a stupid idea as I can't even really see to type.

no idea what to do. DH has just taken DS camping for the weekend.

[LEMAGAIN]

not stupid - its (excuse the cliche) good to talk. Whats wrong?

[morningsun]

whats wrong jackaroo are you missing your ds?

[Jackaroo]

Don't know where to start. how to
I have finally got off my anti-d's and I KNOW that I'm not depressed, but that I have been able to keep a lid on what is happening in my life because if them. does that make sense.

I am other side of the world. didn't want to be pg. again. my dad died 8 months ago. SIls are being really unpleasant, I think because I get on so well with MIl. But if I didn't have her I would be really stuck. None of the family talk about anything, but they will talk to me about each other, sort of apologising on their behalves.

I feel as if I can't stick up for myself because I'm pg., I feel so vunerable. DH is being crap male. Thinks that because I talked ot him, it's fine now. was completely lost yesterday when he realised I was stills so upset with sils.

I just want to not be here. I feel so isolated. Just bought a hosue, so can't afford to fly home (and no idea what that would do to my DS anyway).

I

I just don't know

[Jackaroo]

I'm so sorry.

[CKelpie]

If you are feeling that bad, call samaritans or some kind of professional organisation. Surely a voice at the end of the line must feel better than text?

Am worried about offering positive mental attitude without knowing your circumstances but the advice 'sleep on it' has always done me good, especially since ds. x

[LEMAGAIN]

don't be sorry, please. You have had lots of upheaval AND come off of ADs (well done - i say that because im just starting that journey myself - bit scary!). From what you have written down is there any wonder that you are feeling a bit shit, well, a lot shit.

Where in the world are you? Is there an equivalent of NCT or ante natal groups, mother and toddler? I know it all seems a bit trivial and a waste of time but at least you will see different faces.

Shame that your SIL is being a bitch, you don't need that - but thats her perrogative i suppose. Maybe you could front her out about things, get them in the open, or would this be a problem for MIL?

8 months is not very long to have lost your dad, you have to give yourself time on this one.

[CKelpie]

Oh again I type too slow. If you have skype, you can talk to close ones from home very cheaply - might ease the isolation?

[sb6699]

Would echo calling a professional organisation - if you are under the care of a GP for your depression has he given you any contact numbers for times like this?

Can you avoid your SIL's if they're making you so upset. Can you talk to your MIL about how sad you're feeling - maybe she could have a word on your behalf.

I'm in England and my family/friends are in Scotland (not exactly the other side of the world) but I do have times where I miss them all desperately so can imagine how you're feeling.

Do you have a social circle where you are?

Sending you a big un-MNlike

[sb6699]

Meant to add, maybe if you're under so much stress right now wasn't a good time to come off the AD's. Can you make an emergency appointment for your GP to see what he thinks.

[LEMAGAIN]

JR - i have to go to bed now - else i'll knock myself out when my head hits the keyboard but you now have the weekend ahead of you with no DH and DS?

I would hate this(although right now i think i quite like it in principal, im not good on my own), but the sensible side of me is saying make the most of some time for you - is there anything you haven't done for a while? Would like to do? Are you too pg to join DH and DS? or is it strictly boys only? Do you read? Could you head off to the library? find something to lose yourself in? Silly suggestions probably if you are feeling so bad but don't like the thought of you feeling alone.

Your boys will be back sunday/monday - try and get some rest and be kind to yourself.