Hi
What I meant about obsessive thoughts about the clom was whether you were finding yourself fixating about it or worrying about it a lot. It only occurred to me because you had posted a couple of threads where you expressed concerns.
I'm not assuming that you are btw or being judgy, just knowing that with my OCD, I'll start worrying/fixating on a certain thing, then it becomes huge, then I have panic attacks and it gets very difficult for me. One of the ways I deal with it is to ask for reassurance, often repeatedly about things.
Just wondered if you were on the point of this about the clom because I know how difficult I find it when it happens to me.
Anyway, if that's not what's happening to you, please don't take offence for me asking, just wanted to make sure you were OK really
I've been on clomipramine for around 10 years on and off. I'm 37 now. I first showed signs of OCD when I was about 18. I didn't seek help for it until my mid twenties and I was resistant to taking medication for quite a while after that.
I've sometimes come off it altogether - once for a couple of years, a couple of times for a few months, and I've been OK, but then often something will trigger the OCD again - I'll get a fixation, I'll get in a state and it will trigger all my past OCD behaviour.
I am on quite a low dosage - I've never been on a particularly high dosage of it. I find it doesn't take away my anxieties, I still have the thoughts, but it somehow allows me to compartmentalise how I feel so I can deal with it objectively.
I don't know how long I will end up taking it. I am on the waiting list for more CBT from my local Mental Health Trust (luckily there is decent mental health provision where I am) and it looks like I'll have the same therapist as before, which is great because I really trust her.
I remember from before that your OCD is quite different to mine in how it presents itself (with me it's a fear that something I do will unintentionally cause someone harm because I have in some way been careless/irresponsible).
It's good that you are able to talk about it with your DH. I can to a certain extent with mine, but he will often lose patience and get quite frustrated with me.
You mentioned upping your dose - what does your doctor say about that? (I know that some of the tablets contain more miligrams than others)