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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

trying to get over being assaulted

37 replies

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 09:58

My supposed best friend assaulted me outside the school 2 weeks ago. she had been funny with me since before christmas. I don't know why. I have done everything for her in the past. Her ds is my godson. This one day she decided to start a shouting match at school. I walked away. She came after me and started punching me. I kept thinking to myself 'dont hit her back, don't hit her back' and all i could hear was my kids screaming She knocked me out and put me in hospital. Loads of kids saw it all. My kids are mortified, especially dd1. Today my DH has gone back to work and I am at home on my own with dd2 for the first time. I am scared. She only lives a few doors down from me. Not sure what to do with myself. I'm getting in a bit of a state about things really.

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pollywobbledoodle · 09/03/2009 10:03

how awful.
did you report it to the police?

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 10:04

yes. they took photos etc. she got off with a caution.

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AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 10:06

she hit someone else who tried to pull her off me.

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RubyrubyrubyHareb · 09/03/2009 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pollywobbledoodle · 09/03/2009 10:10

is that all that happened to her!
have you a friend who could call round/you could visit for coffee?

has it been discussed in school at all?

LadyOfWaffle · 09/03/2009 10:13

Do you think she will attack again? Are you having flashbacks? Do you know what caused it? Can anyone come over? {hugs}

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 10:28

i have no idea if she will come after me again. i didn't expect her to ever do what she did to me, so i can't say that i don't think she would. I keep having flashbacks. my kids keep having nightmares. I have still got a black eye and feel as though i look like a right freak. i only remember her hitting me 4 times. next thing i knew, my DH had come from work and i was in an ambulance. im too scared to go out. i don't want to ask anyone round. they all want to know the 'details' and i am not from round here, whereas she is, and although a lot of people have approached me to say that they think i am really brave and i did them proud by not hitting back etc, i still feel like they might lean towards her cos shes from here. if that makes sense??

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AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 10:29

i did the school run on my own this morning for the first time and i was petrified

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pollywobbledoodle · 09/03/2009 10:36

maybe take advantage of the fact that people have approached you with support...say you are anxious and can you join them/walk with them......even if they want to know the details you don't have to say....you could say you find it hard to talk about......rememember theres no shame in you being bullied and being scared is a sane response to what happened

how are your children coping.....have they friends for support

MrsMattie · 09/03/2009 10:38

That sounds hideous. I am not surprised you are traumatised by this. Did you report her to the police? she sounds like a dangerous nutter.

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 10:53

the children arent doing very well. especially dd1. shes hardly slept and when she does she has nightmares. I have made her a 'worry book' and in it she wrote that she is scared that when her daddy goes back to work, shes worried that this woman will come after me when its just me and dd2 on our own. that is today. so dd1 didn't want to go to school this morning. the boys have had a lot of 'tummy aches' on school mornings. The thing they are struggling with the most is that this woman was one of our closest friends.

yes mrs mattie the ambulance men called the police and they came to the hopital. she got a caution.

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MrsMattie · 09/03/2009 11:04

This is so sad.

What did the school say? Is there anyway you can get an injunction against her, to stop her coming anywhere near you?

How is she acting now? Have you got a case you could take back to the police - harassment/intimidation etc?

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:10

she was told to stay away from the school for a week to let things cool down but sure enough that day, she was stood there laughing and joking with someone. i have only seen her that day and once since, and at a distance. dd1 was really wound up when she saw her.

they school are being good. my kids are allowed out of a different door to her kids now so we don't have to cross their paths in school grounds.

shes apologised to the other person she hit and everyone else she comes across. but shes also now spreading lies, saying i poked her and when thats not worked, that i went for her mum (who was with her at the time, but the only time her mum is ever there is whn she wants backup for something so i knew she was gunning for me that day when i saw her there) but anyone who knows me knows that i wouldn't do that. I am not a fighter.

i feel so sorry for all the other kids coming out of school that had to see it too.

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AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:11

Heck my grammar and punctuations not very good. Sorry.

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beanieb · 09/03/2009 11:13

she only got a caution? What was her reason for doing it!

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:15

she had a look in her eye that I had never seen before.

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MrsMattie · 09/03/2009 11:22

God, she sounds vile.

I also think it is ridioculous that she got a caution. She should have been charged with assault!

If you are still feeling intimidated and scared on a daily basis, the problem isn't sorted. Not sure what to suggest, but I don't see why you should have to feel under threat twice a day!

thirtysomething · 09/03/2009 11:27

this is just awful. Of course you're going to be traumatised still and your children. It's normal to be so scared after something like that. Sounds as if some counselling might help as once you've been able to explore how you feel you will be more able to cope with the kids' emotions? Something like this really knocks your self-esteem and can have knock-on effects in other areas of your life. Please try to be kind to yourself and don't expect too much of yourself. Could you contact victim support for some counselling?

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:27

my dh said that its not like it was one slap around the face, she punched me til I was unconscious, and then she was only stopped when someone pulled her off me. People don't believe it when I tell them that she got off with a caution. Someone said I should appeal but I don't know what to do really. My stomach is in knots counting the minutes til I have to leave at 2.55pm to go to school again.....

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AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:28

xposted thirtysomething sorry. I don't really want to go to counselling. Have had it in the past for other issues and didn't find it any use.

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pollywobbledoodle · 09/03/2009 11:37

might the children find it helpful to talk to someone, even if you don't want to?

you say the school are being good about things by letting them come out of another gate but have they had any input in terms of talking about bullying in school etc

AnAngelWithin · 09/03/2009 11:45

yes i was wondering about the children. i was going to try and see how this week went and how the kids are now that things are 'back to normal' in the sense of not having DH around.

The school have not spoken to the children directly about what has happened, but has gone over the antibullying policy (they are very strict on it!) and not hurting people etc.

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Boco · 09/03/2009 11:47

This sounds awful. Have you any idea at all why it happened?
Could you talk to victim support maybe?

Gorionine · 09/03/2009 12:05

Angel, I do not know what to say. How can anyone do something like that in front of children?

Had she ever in the past given the impression that she would be able to do such a thing.

I think polly might have a good point about your Dcs maybe needing to talk to someone ( I gather that you do not want to do it yourself).Who knows what must be going ion in their head now. ing that they should have to witness an assault, but seing their own mum being attacked they aer probably feeling defenceless and helpless because they could not do anything for you.

A friend of mine (working in the school where it happenend) was headbutted by a dad,in the school ground,for something the son had told she had said (he did not bother asking if it was true ...) The school has now forbiden access to the premises to this man. I think the person who assaulted you got off very very lightly, not quite normal IMO.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 09/03/2009 12:16

Why did she attack you? It sounds from your post i.e. "She only has her mum with her for back up" that she has done this before?

Does she need help? It doesn't ound like the behavior of a rational person to me, could you report her to a social worker? If she cannot control her temper she maybe a danger to herself and others but my main concern would be for her children.

@ laughing with other people later that day. I'd have told her where to shove it if she had approached me like nothing happened.

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