How to help SIL, who might be depressed?

[howtohelp]

SIL has a lot on her plate ATM and I think she might be suffering from depression but I just don't know how to talk to her or what to say as she becomes very uncommunicative.

She has a very demanding professionsal job working long hours, two children with SN and a nice but utterly ineffectual husband. She seems to have become very detached from her children and takes little interest in them and spends most weekends at home not doing much. I am worried about her.

[chuckeyegg]

Just try and be a good friend and let her know you are there to listen if she needs you. Try and support her in any way you can. Perhaps she is exhausted too.

Hope you can help her.

xx

[Mamii]

She sounds as if she's seriously exhausted and in desperate need of a break. The MOST helpful thing you could do for her is to offer to have her kids for a weekend while she has a complete rest. If that's not possible, then maybe offer to pick the kids up and take them to the local playzone or swiiming. Anything. The poor woman is in need of a rest. If her DH is as useless as you say, she may end up having a complete breakdown (she sounds close to that point already) surely someone should be helping this woman and give her the boost she needs if she's the one keeping her family together? Offer practical help to give her a break. Good on you for being worried about her as well. I expect she'd be grateful just to know someone has noticed how much she does and that she needs support.

[Mamii]

Had another thought. Maybe a good approach? Difficult to say when you don't know anything about the person in question. Do you know anyone else with kids? Just say, that you don't know how she manages to do everything she does. You spent the day with x's children recently and you were shattered. You thought of her doing it day after day AND that she work's in a demanding job too! Tell her how much respect you have for her managing to juggle all those things. Then, maybe suggest that you know if you were in her position she is, you know how much you'd need some time-out. Say that you'd enjoy taking the kids out to the playzone/Local park farm (somewhere appropriate for their age) for a few hours some time. Then suggest a day/time.