I don't know how to support my stressed/depressed DP

[Peelmeagrape]

Hi,

I have no experience of mental illness but I am starting to suspect my DP may have stress and possibly depression.

I don't know where to go for help/advice to support him as he won't see his GP (doesn't think he has a problem)

Is getting increasingly difficult to live with, and I am trying hard, but probably failing, to be supportive.

We have two young daughters (2.5 & 8 months) and his behaviour has got particularly bad since DD2 arrived.

He cannot cope with any kind of stress and I find him frequently standing still staring into nothing with clenched fists looking like he is about to either scream or burst into tears.

He reacts angrily to things I wouldn't think twice about and is irritable with the girls - not all the time by any means, but far more than I think he should, and in situations which I think are not stressful (i.e. choosing what drink to have with his meal).

He has very low self-esteem (this has always been a problem) and directs his anger by being critical towards me "SOMEONE moved the such and such" type of pettiness. He is also facing redundancy from an administrative job (was made part time before Christmas),I will have to return to work part time and he will be minding the children 2 days a week (which I have concerns about)

We are very lucky to have excellent family support and I am frantically organising social events (we have a shared social interest which gives us plenty of opportunity to be out of the house) to try to give him a break from home, but this has done little to lift his mood and I am finding him very difficult to live with.

If anyone would have the time to give me some pointers how to support him I'd be very grateful. At the moment I vary between trying to help him make decisions or taking over myself so to keep the stress away from him, but with 2 small children in the house there is only so much I can do. I also try to give him a big hug whenever I can!

Am at wits end so would be most grateful for any response..

Thanks so much

[Donk]

One of the big things is to look after yourSELF - it is really difficult living with someone who is anxious/depressed, and the statistics for partners of people with mental health problems themselves developing problems are depressing (if you will forgive the pun). If you end up depressed or anxious it will be much harder to help your DH!