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Mental health

struggling, stressed, feel a failure..need advice :) *long*

2 replies

cheekychopsy · 10/02/2009 20:51

hello..

was wondering where to post this initially as I wanted to address my DS (5-1/2) behaviour. After reading some other posts, I felt more at home here as some of my issues come back to my anxiety and depression. Had PND and now have just realised I've had general anxiety for years..this has been particularly heightened lately as DH lost his job last year.

I wont go into the list of issues facing me and us, but basically I feel really sad and I'm blaming myself that the things affecting my son are my fault and I don't know what to do.

DS is a very outgoing fun little boy, but a massive handful! has been since birth, never slept, cried, very active on the go demanding and extremely defiant. In some ways I feel he is my nemessis (hard to admit) - there are times when I feel that my child's behaviour makes me feel ill with the stress and anxiety. I just feel that whatever I do its not enough.

he is difficult to control, ignores and outwits me. he needs a lot of attention and doing activities which challenges me as my anxiety makes socialising a nightmare for me. I get frustrated and shout, a viscious circle as I hate myself for not being more mature. I feel like a failure compared to other mothers who appear have it all under control (its always me having a crisis in the park, DS wont wear coat, wont come home blah blah) it gets worse because the attention it brings makes me want to die, and I get more flustered and angry.

I am getting help for the anxiety at last now. I think it was exaggerated after childbirth. I cant remember feeling happy in myself, even at times with less problems around. I so desperately wanted to be a Mum and now feel I am crap at it and DS and I have a very tenous relationship.

has anyone else had this..I hate the school he's at, this kid in his class is bringing the worst out of mine. I just can't get mine into the school I want. I've considered moving but DH isnt keen. Some days feels like a sentence.

Please tell me something positive, constructive critisism or other experiences glad appreciated..

sorry for moaning on..just needed to get it off chest!

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RaspberryBlower · 10/02/2009 21:12

First of all, I think lots of 5 year old boys are a handful aren't they? I don't think you should blame yourself for this, and if other people appear to be under control, they probably aren't.

I recently went for a walk with my friend and her nearly 5 year old and he ran away from her and wouldn't come back. He just laughed and kept running and she had to leg it after him rugby tackle him to the ground. She was mortified. He's a lovely boy and she's a brilliant mum. I think they really start to pull your strings at this age.

You say you're getting help with your anxiety. This is a really positive step, so well done.

I'm sure people will come along with practical advice on dealing with 5 year olds. Good luck with it.

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cheekychopsy · 11/02/2009 23:52

thanks rapsberry blower..really nice of you to comment and a nice comment too goes a long way.

I'm blown away by the support here !

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