Since this ****** locum psychiatrist stopped all my drugs I feel like I am losing the plot...

[notevenamousie]

I have been on the same antidepressant for over 5 years. I have a 2 year old DD, work full time, and am a single mum. The past year or so have seen me getting much stronger, using some add in mood stabilisers and antipsychotics (my diagnosis is bipolar) as needed under the supervision of a brilliant consultant psychiatrist. Then she went off sick in August and the first locum was pretty good, let me stop the lithium as it made me feel terrible and got me some community support whilst I did it.

The past two months I feel like everything I have worked so hard to achieve is falling to shreds. A new locum stopped my antidepressants, saying that me doing well was proof I didn't need them

Each dose reduction has been grim, with vertigo/nausea and dizzyness but I have kept working, coped with my DD, etc. I am now down to the lowest possible dose from being on the highest. DD and I have had a vomiting virus since the weekend, I am totally isolated because most of my friends work in healthcare so can't risk them catching it too, my mum wants to help but is having palliative chemotherapy so I can't even see her at the moment. I am weepy all the time. I can't imagine feeling able to cope at work. I am barely keeping up with washing all the sick covered clothes and bedding and the nappies. I feel like everything I fought for has dissolved to nothing. My lovely DD is asking for Daddy loads, which I usually cope with but it suddenly feels like maybe DD should be with Daddy, since Mummy is so hopeless.

I think I might go and see my GP tomorrow just to see if I have any options here... I don't feel like I do. But then, although DD and I haven't vomited in about 12 hours, should we be 48 hours clear before sitting in a doctors waiting room?

Sorry it's so long, thank you if you got this far.

[SpirobranchusGiganteus]

You poor thing. Remember that your mood is affected now by your vomiting bug, but if you are feeling this rotten even without the vomiting bug, then your view of whether you should be on ADs, not the locum's, is what counts.

It sounds like your life is just too challlenging at the moment to be a good time to cut the ADs -- and you've already done so well coming off the lithium.

Do you think the low mood is def. associated with downing the ADs? If there is a chance that it is, then ask your GP to put you back on them.
(If however it is just the dizziness etc that is getting you down, then sit it out: that will get better)

I'm no expert by the way, except as a taker of ADs. Best wishes. I hope you feel better soon.

[SpirobranchusGiganteus]

And by the way, I think you are incredibly strong -- single mother, working fulltime, your mum poorly, and still you manage to come off the lithium. That is many things more than I could manage. The locum sounds unhelpful. You are already asking so much of yourself wirthout cutting out a helpful drug.

[reikizen]

You are doing so well. We ask a lot of ourselves and it sounds like you are coping brilliantly with everything on your plate. I would go to the GP, don't worry about waiting 48 hrs for goodness sake. Also, I work in healthcare and I wouldn't avoid seeing a sick friend if I thought she needed my help, bugs are just an unavoidable fact of life aren't they? Ask for help if you need it.

[notevenamousie]

Thank you! My poorly DD has just crashed out - I will not be far behind, I am really craving sleep, oblivion just now. All the logical thinking I usually do - I can't at all.

I am going to ring the surgery and get us there tomorrow - my GP is ok, he will get what I am going through, I think.

I feel like I can't get back to work at all at the moment and yet any more time off (rarely for me, just because dd is in childcare and is 2 and that's how it is) could professionally be disastrous. So much to juggle and I don't know how.

[SpirobranchusGiganteus]

Glad you are going to GP, and glad that your GP is sympathetic.

It may seem impossible to take time off work, but if this is what you need then go for it. It might mean less time off in the long run.

And do remember to keep all of your negative thoughts in quote marks -- to show that it is the depression speaking and not the Voice of Truth.

Your daghter loves you. however crotchety she might be just now, and it is not the end of the world to take time off work when you ar eill.

Hope all goes well at docs