Feel like I am losing my grip.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

I thought I was doing really well but it feels like everything is slipping again and I am so tired and fed up of being in pain.

Have had my Painkillers changed again and the doctor was talking about me being on AD's indefinately. My head is all over the place and I can't get it to stop and it feels really scary.

I went on a thread yesterday that I wouldn't normally dream of going on, because H had done something really insensitive and I was mad, but there was no point in talking about it and then I got really stressed and had the posts deleted and feel ashamed of myself.

I just feel like crying.

My in-laws are being difficult about christmas again, despite the fact that I have tried to be accomadating which means either we have to drag the children around in the car for two days or they don't get to spend it together as a 'family' as H has to ferry his mum everywhere.

My children went to a party and were given coca-cola, despite the fact that evry one knows they don't have it and now thay will be hyper for a few days when they are stressed enough about christmas.

I really really want to go somewhere quiet and just get my head straight and I hate feeling like this.

Someone rang me last night at 7.30 to do with my website and H was not impressed. It is not like this guy was doing anything wrong....H could easily have answered the phone, but we were laughing and I know H was annoyed. I have told H everything about the progress of things but he is getting antsy and I just want to get my 'career' back of the ground and it feels tainted.

I didn't feel very well and went to bed early, and just want to sleep until it all feels better.

oh god this is crap. i wish my head would stop spinning before things get anymore out of control. I hate being me sometimes. Someone stop the spinning please.

[roundcornvirgin]

Haven't seen your threads op so don't know the background. Sending you some good vibes.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

thanks..

[bellaBuonNatalevita]

Just wanted to say I am sorry you are feeling like this (haven't seen your other threads either) but did not want your post to go unanswered.

xx

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

trying to get the children ready for school....shouldn't be so hard...

[FrannyandZooey]

just sending good wishes mou
don't know the answers but thinking of you

[DasherDancerPrancerFMVixen]

oh smiles, you don't deserve all this crap...

I can't wave a magic wand, but I can hold your hand a little. You are always welcome to email me and rant or FB rant (You can do 'personal' messgaes/live chat on there).

Things are always more difficult to cope with when you are in a lot of pain, (I don't know the background) so I do hope the new painkillers will help.
Have a fruity hug x

[mangolassi]

Smiles, sorry it's so pants at the moment. I can relate to what you say about thinking you were doing well and then suddenly it's back to square 1. I don't know if it helps now, but it'll get better again, you just need to hang in there.

[mangolassi]

helps to hear it now

That looks really unclear now iI try to read it back. Take it as clumsy empathy, anyway.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

Thanks....the weird thing is I know this is not the depression, I am really exhausted. Much of my life has improved for the better over the last few weeks but I haven't slept properly for months.
I have been offered sleep medication but hate it as I wake up groggy and with children, that is not an option.

It is probably me but I sometimes feel like I am doing a bit more than my fair share in life but, if i say something it makes things worse.

I came home from work and slept a little and am trying to eat.

Is red bull addictive?

I do use it but am trying to give it up but wondered if it was part of how I feel.

A 'friend(?)' just offered me a hug, but the last time he gave me a hug he touched my bum and I have just offended him by refusing. Why does everything have to be so difficult?

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

Long road little steps.

I need to get back on track, why today?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

[pinkspottywellies]

When have you tried sleep meds before mou? Is it likely that there might be a better one that wouldn't make you wake up groggy since the last time you tried? Or a lesser dose so that you at least get some sleep? Is there a specialist sleep clinic type place near you?

Other than that (probably useless) waffle I'll hold your hand and offer hugs x

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

A couple of years ago pink, I was actually given them to help me relax in the night as that is often when my pain is at its worst, but even on a low dose they made me feel awful for a couple of hours in the morning and my children don't do 'groggy mummy' in the mornings.

I really don't know what is the matter with me today, I keep bursting into tears, Bloody woman.!!!

(snuggles into pinks hug)

[Boco]

Do you think the redbull could be making the sleep worse? It's basically full of caffeine isn't it, so definely would be keeping you up - much like you said your kids react badly to cola - it'll be giving you highs and then big dips. Maybe you could try sticking to cammomile tea or other more soothing calming stuff to even you out a bit.

Sorry you're feeling so bad, maybe you could have another chat with your gp?

[stressedsanta]

hi smiles just wanted to give a hug and say hope you will feel better soon .know what you mean about head spinning i was feeling just like that until my ad's kicked in .are you on them and if you are maybe you need to up the dose?
i found that herbal kalms night time sleeping tablets helped me .i took 4 an hour b4 bedtime.
why not give them a try i cant hurt.
why may i ask are you in pain ??? sorry i dont know your story.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

Went to GP yesterday .

I know redbull doesn't help but not sole cause of sleep problem as I have come off it before and not much changes.
I am trying to drink more chamomile tea but get in need of energy boost when things are bad.

srtessedsanta, might try the herbal option. but overall am happy on AD's I am on.

In pain because of a problem with my spine following an old injury, and I suffer with fibromyalgia, I can't get comfortable in the night and regularly wake up because of the pain in my arms and hands. Also I can't just roll over in my sleep much, I have to physically move myself which on top of insomnia means the quality of sleep I get is pretty low.

I have this fantasy of going to sleep in an enormous bed, made with lavendar smelling, white linen and an enormous soft white throw, and wake up feeling 'normal' and refreshed.

Thanks all for 'listening', hopefully today is just a one off.

[stressedsanta]

why not swap red bull for lucozade this helped me with some much needed energy.
like the sound of your perfect nights sleep
sorry to hear your in so much pain although im not sure what fibromyalgia is ??
we all have off days and its understandable what with all you have to deal with ,try not be so hard on urself

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

not thought about lucozade stressedsanta, good idea.

Fibromyalgis is a bit like chronic fatigue syndome or ME but with different symptoms and joint and muscle pain. It comes and goes. It seems to be here at the moment.

[TooTicky]

God I'm really sorry Smiles, I haven't been on here today.
{{{{{{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}}}}}
If I can help at all, you know where I am.
Hope your head is calming down. Can you sit quietly anywhere for a bit?
Don't drink too much chamomile btw, it is medicinal and too much will have opposite effect.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

Thank-you Toot...

I slept a little and the new painkillers are starting to work. I so wanted to try and cut them down, but don't know if it is worth it until the spring when it warms up a bit.

I have decided I am not name changing anymore. If I can't say it in this name I'm probably better off keeping Mum.

I may have the day off tomorrow and might try and chill, and get out for a walk.

My eyes have stopped leaking though.

Thank-you all....

[SuperBunny]

Feel better soon, Smiles. It seems that a lot of people are having problems with minds spinning and such.

Wish I could help re sleep. My only solution is medicinal but I am thankful I have found something. Insomnia is not nice.

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

I'm starting to feel OK which is a relief that it is a temporary glitch and not the start of a downward spiral.

It helps so much to get it out. I think bottling it is part of the problem. Not too much damage done though. Thanks SB.

[TooTicky]

Good, I'm really glad. Keep in touch.

[SuperBunny]

Hope you are still feeling a bit better, smiles

[SmilesLikeNoOther]

Oh yes thank you SB. I really don't know where that came from as I have been doing so well. I can only assume it was a combination of stress, tiredness and pain. I hate feeling like I am being sucked under but am quite pleased that it was a short episode.

I am trying to give up as much refined sugars as possible. I know I am prone to being on the hyper side but I hope I usually conduct myself with a little more dignity.

[SuperBunny]

Oh good! It's always disheartening when you are feeling low after a good patch, especiallu when you can't tell if it is a blip or the beginning of something worse.