Walking round in a bubble, even in a crowd I feel totally alone

[CharCharBaGOOOOOOORE]

Somebody tell me they've felt like this as well, please. I feel like that all the time. I'm depressed, got ads but forgot to tell doctor I'm bfing so now have to go and get new ones. So not being treated atm and I'm sinking, tbh. One of the reasons I'm feeling down is isolation, spending all my time with DD in the house. So I go to toddler groups 3 times a week, soon to be four. But even in those rooms full of people I feel isolated. Just can't seem to drag myself up from this. I won't be like this forever, will I? Sorry for another post like this.

[umberellascankill]

do you get any excercise? sorry, that sounds like a platitude, but i have found forcing myself to get moving can help when i'm feeling low. it's a horrid feeling but you are far from the first to have experienced it {{}}

[umberellascankill]

(that was my first mn hug btw, not a pair of bandy knees!)

[snowleopard]

I haven't actually ever been clinically depressed, but yes I have felt exactly like this at certain bad and isolated times in my life, and you're not alone in this. I remember not being able to wear sunglasses because it added another layer of "separation" from everything else that I just couldn't bear - sounds so weird to say that now. You won't be like this forever.

Being alone with a toddler is incredibly isolating too and toddler groups can often make you feel worse I think, unless they are very friendly.

Could you organise a trip to see family or friends far away, start an evening class, go to a craft group, or do a class with DD (like toddler dance or music class etc), or is there any way you could get a part-time job? All these might give you a chance to relate to people more individually and talk about things that interest you - which is difficult at toddler group.

[umberellascankill]

I agree about the toddler groups snowleopard, i find them bloody isolating. it's such a contrived environment in a lot of ways, and if you don't 'hit it off' with the other mums it feels like being back at school (in a bad way!)

[CharCharBaGOOOOOOORE]

Thankyou everybody, and thanks for the hug umberellas, was much needed. Glad others have felt like this, was worried. The toddler groups I go to are quite nice but I'm shy so don't talk to many of the other mums. All great ideas, snowleopard. Can't afford to do some of them, but I might look into a craft group or something. It's stupid because I have a few friends and most of my family are great. But I just want to curl up and hide from them which obv isn't going to help the isolation thing. I'm trying to do a long walk each day with DD in her sling but sometimes the motivation just escapes me.

[snowleopard]

I know, I am pretty confident these days, I don't care that much what strangers think of me and yet some toddler groups can reduce me to a quivering wreck. You can end up feeling horribly scrutinised and/or excluded, not what you need at all charchar.

Do you have neighbours? Some of my best mum friends and DS's closest friends are people we've just seen around in the area, chatted to at the swings etc. I know it's hard to kick-start it though.

Also, it might not help with the social side of things, but it might help you feel better to get out and about more - go to museums, zoo, stately homes, beach/woods/etc whatever's near you, or just a nearby town you've never visited, just for a change of scene and so you're not in all day.

[CharCharBaGOOOOOOORE]

The neighbours are strange and seem to keep themselves to themselves. I've lived here for nearly 2 years and only 1 has ever said hello to me. I might try getting out and about more though to the museum and places, am getting fed up of these 4 walls. Thanks.

[umberellascankill]

yes, museum good. do you have friends where you live?

[CharCharBaGOOOOOOORE]

I have a few friends, but they're busy all the time. Always working or having appointments or doing exciting things. I want to know where they go to fill their time because I haven't found it!