Stood in my kitchen crying this morning...

[MrsBigD]

especially as I don't want dd to see me all in tears...

Don't exactly know what brought it on. I guess it's a mix of things.

still trying to find a job where I can afford childcare for 2 kids

being so tired I just want to collaps

not having any time to myself EVER

DH being an insensitive pr*ck by using 'I'm tired' as an excuse for anything. As if I'm not tired still having to get up for the kids at night - fair enough he does as well but at least he gets some time to himself ... -

Had to love his statement this morning... he had been off sich Mon & tues and I let him sleep as much as I could and trying to keep the kids quiet. So what did he say this morning... 'I might as well go to work as I don't get a chance to rest' !!! I just looked at him speechless. I don't get a chance to rest even when I'm ill!!! ykwim... no sick leave for mummy

If on the rare occasion I get a 'lie-in' dd storms in around 7:30. Oh and a few weeks ago I actually was down with a rotton cold and slept most of the morning only to be made felt guilty that I'd wasted the day. DH didn't say as much, just the whole attitude.

And of course if DH looks after the kids he couldn't possibly do anything else and 4 hours = all day.

Sorry to bore you with this. I just had to let it out.

[spagblog]

Sorry that you are feeling like this. Sometimes it all gets too much eh?
I can relate to all of what you have said...This could be my life too.

In fact yesterday I blahed my eyes out in the car listening to some music on the radio. It finally occurred to me that life is not a rehearsal - yes I had heard the phrase before, but only yesterday it meant something.

Just tell yourself that this is not your life forever. When the kids are older you can regain your true self, but for now...It stinks.

[MrsBigD]

yes it does doesn't it spagbol

Oh I did get a 'token effort' yesterday evening. I had a bit of a rant and said I need some time alone in the sun and dh said well he has to take some time off at the end of March anyhow as he'll otherwise loose his annual leave so I could go and visit my best friend in Israel (lovely heat there). HOWEVER, seeing that he's a wreck after looking after the kids for a few hours 1 whole week will probably result in him going postal and the kids being rather disturbed by the time I get back . So not really feasible is it! And he knows it

[MrsBigD]

hmmm maybe I should have chosen a different heading... rant about dh

[spagblog]

Are you me?

DH actually told me that if I died he would have to adopt out the kids as he couldn't cope with them...This was after an afternoon when I was so I'll I had do go lie down. He made me feel bad about leaving him to deal with it all too.

Occassionally he mentions how I should go to a health spa, but we don't have the money and he wouldn't have the kids so it is all pie in the sky anyway.

[pipsy1]

Can I join in the rant -its just the same here! Reckon I'll have to wait til teenage years to get a weekend to myself again!

[MrsBigD]

oh of course! Just another 15 years + to go for me then until the kids are old enough to be kicked out.

And another good one from dh this morning... I told him I'd been thinking about that job I might possibly have a shot at, but I would only get a max of 5h sleep a night as it would be working from 1600-midnight. What does he say?! 'I thought you were going to sleep during the day' (can't get across the tone he said that in...). Well we had sort of talked about getting a helper in, but truth be known, even with somebody in the flat looking after the kids, in reallity I wouldn't get much sleep in would I now...

[franke]

I fantasise about getting 8 hours uninterrupted sleep!

MrsBigD if you were to take up your dh's offer and go to Israel at the end of March, do you think he would just get on with looking after the kids because you wouldn't be there to winge at? Or is there anyone you could get in to help him out? It really sounds to me as if this is what you need - something to look forward to, some me-time and a rest.

[MrsBigD]

spagbol - at least dh is willing to stay with the kids, but he's rather short fused and tells dd off way too severely for minor offences...

[MrsBigD]

franke - oh he'd get on with it, but probably would loose his rag quite frequently.

I went away for a weekend with work when we only had dd and dh got a friend (dd's favourite 'uncle') to stay with him all weekend. Still he was a wreck after. So you see my point with him having to look after 2 kids for 7 days...

oh and what are 8h uniterupted sleep? Isn't that a very mystical thing even Indiana Jones hasn't been able to track down for us weiry mothers yet?

[franke]

8 hours uninterrupted sleep - it's agood one isn't it!

Oh dear, I really feel for you. Certainly no good for the kids if he has a short fuse (although they'd be so happy to see you when you return!). I'm sitting here trying to come up with ideas, but it's so hard - everything starts getting very expensive if you think about getting in outside help.

[MrsBigD]

yep that's the other issue... money is tight so getting in help = me having to find work = not really worth it unless I work e.g. graveyard shifts = even less sleep = feeling even lower...

gotta love the vicious circle don't you

Hmmmm Israel is looking better and better.

Can't even get my mum over for longer to help (she's in Germany), because dh, her and dd don't get on so more pressure on me - also her and I don't exactly see eye 2 eye. Probably another factor why I'm so down... mum's coming to visit on 8/3 for a week

aaaaaaaaargh... give me a gun

[MrsBigD]

better off now to get dd ready for her 2.5h nursery.

But keep the tips and sympathy coming

Talking on here really helps

thanks!

[MrsBigD]

it's going to be a bad day... ds is screaming his head off (guessing teeth again) and dd slipped on the step when we left for kindi and scraped her back, now in a heap and in hysterics so staying home.

I'd rather be somewhere else

[unicorn]

hi mrs bd sorry you're having a bad day..
have you a car? (or get the e5)..you could pop over here for a coffee?

Have just taken dd to school so am at home with the manic one (ds) and a tip of a house...

[MrsBigD]

Thanks Unicorn don't really have the strength at the mo though to get the kids ready

thankfully just got ds down (after 4 doses of calgel - I love that stuff!) and dd is flaking on the sofa watching Little bill on Nick jr.

So am going to ignore the mess, dishes and washing and just enjoy a cuppa and a bit of time on mumsnet

[Marina]

You do that MrsBigD. Happy surfing and a big hug from here. Being a mother is pretty rubbish at times I think //[[hug]]

[MrsBigD]

Thanks Marina.
Yes it sucks at times but it also can be lots of fun - especially when dd tries to drown me in the bath tub!

[Tessiebear]

Really feel for you Mrs BigD ... at the moment i have a rotten cold, Ds's to look after and pregnant.... DH as good as useless ... wondering how the hell i will cope with three when i get ill

[Bibiboo]

MrsBigD, while you're crying in the kitchen, make sure you've always got a pakcet of chocolate hob nobs at hand, better than tissues, honest! Chin up, all men are insensitive pr*cks at times, they can't help it. In fact, lets pity them and point and laugh at all their silly man-faults
I can turn this thread into something along the lines of "Why men are crap" if you'd like?

[MrsBigD]

Tessiebear - I know what you mean. How old are your ds's? dd is 3 and a little bit of help, IF she hasn't got one of her moments...

Bibiboo - men are crap because the
... are men
... never grow up
... are men
...

[MrsBigD]

p.s. bibiboo... I've got quadruple chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen ;)

[Bibiboo]

In that case Mrs BigD, I'm coming round to your kitchen for a cry - I've only got digestives at the mo.

[MrsBigD]

Thanks for making me laugh You better be quick though...

[pipsy1]

Already had 3 Fox Classic choccie honeycomb crunch this morning. You are right, biccies do help - but only for about 2 minutes! FWIW, my hubby would never cope with the supper, bath, pyjamas, milk, story, bed routine on his own for one night, let alone a weekend or god forbid a week - and that is with not looking after DD during the day. Does he take prize for most useless father??

[MrsBigD]

pipsy he might be getting close.
Can't really complain about dh too much as he does put dd into her pyjamas and reads a bed time story to her etc. it's just sometimes he's so bloody insensitive.

Told him about that and he said 'oh I didn't mean it that way'... well then bl**dy think first then speak ;)