Long story short, been struggeling mental health wise this year, started self harming again and have been told that if I continue to cut as I do I will need plastic surgery to fix the mess.
I am a student nurse and failed my final ever placement - I made some mistakes and got so entrenched in the stress I made more and more and bascally would walk on the ward and cry. I had secured a job but have not had to let that go.
I am still waiting for the uni to decide if I can even go back to finish the course. I will probably have to see a psychologist etc. It feels like all I have done this year is been expected to reveal my heart and soul to everyone.
I also get married in three weeks and have not been able to loose the weight I wanted to because of the immense stress I have been under and to be frank I don't think my dress will actually fit (it did when I bought it) - the shop have been amazing but the facts remain that once its taken out as much as it can be if it won't zip up I can't physically wear it and I don't think it will fit when I go on Thursday so then what do I do? I have stretchmarks on my arms, a double chin. I look disgusting. I also have to face getting ready for the wedding without my mum seeing my legs and a honeymoon with huge scars on them.
I just feel like I have fucked everything up. I (and my mental health nurse) am seriously concerned about what I might do if I am told I cannot complete the course because these days I just can't seem to restrain. But then maybe that means I am unstable and shouldn't be a nurse.
I have been off for three months and I am just bored and frustrated - although have not cut. I just want to be able to finish my course and end all this horrible stress.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Just feel like I have mucked my life up.
7 replies
smurfgirl · 23/09/2008 23:37
OP posts:
masalachameleon ·
23/09/2008 23:40
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.