Please talk to me

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

Sorry

[fluffyanimal]

Hello. What's up?

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

Kids all playing.

DS1 gets in a strop says he hates his sister and doesn't care when I say I will cancel our day out.

I know everyone tells me siblings argue and fight all the time but I can't do this anymore.

I have long term depression, lots of other stresses, DH is at work when he was meant to be on holiday, no idea if he will get paid next month and we have no savings at all, house is a mess, I am just so tired and lonely.

[fluffyanimal]

Oh grim, poor you. Depression makes every little thing seem so hard doesn't it. How old are your kids? If I were you I wouldn't cancel the day out, sounds like you need it. Or if not, what's the weather like where you are, sounds like you could do with a trip to the local park to get everyone out the house and the kids running off some energy.

Are you having any kind of treatment for the depression?

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

The kids are 7 5 and 3.

We are meeting Daddy at work for lunch, they don't know that, and I won't cancel.

I am on ADs but are having a very hard time at the moment.

I hate being me.

[fluffyanimal]

Sorry had to go and do some work. How was your lunch? Hope it's lifted your mood. Do you think you need your GP to review your meds? I'm sure there's lots to appreciate about you, what would you say about you if you were your friend, IYSWIM?

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

We got lost going to Daddy's work but it broke up the day and was lovely to see him.

Come home, made bread rolls and choc muffins for tea (makes me happy to bake) and kids happy watching CBeebies.

Seeing GP next month for regular check up.

The old, undepressed me had loads going for her. Funny, great company, happier, slimmer, game for a laugh. I want a bit of the old me back but it is so hard when you have no one. I miss my Nana soooooooooooooo much and have never been able to talk to my MIL about feelings, etc.

[fluffyanimal]

Glad to hear your day's improved. Don't lose sight of the fact that the old you is still there deep down.

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

Oh, bless you.

Been so long.

[lilbunny]

I know how u feel u lose who u r :-( , love my kiddies but the days r sooo boring,kids tv and housework its grim :-( xxx

[mumblecrumble]

Hi,

man I feel similar and want to say that I hoped things this evening have gone better. its nice that you met Dad for lunch.

I had extra super mega rnat about constantly washing stuff that only going to be crapped on, peed on etc (though using more er... interesting language...). Really getting tired now and dd only a year!

Soooo sorry about DH's holiday being cancelled. Money crap is so stressful. You sound like such a fab mum making muffins and always thinking about your kids even though you feel like shit.

Is miL around to give you a break at all? Even if she takes kids on seperately?

Depression is really crap. Maybe think about how life might be in a few months/years etc? Try and find something that will make you happy and look forward to it. maybe mention to kids how tired you are and ask them how they might help?