Anxiety, very bad.

[prozacyuk]

Can anyone help me?
I went on prozac 6 months ago for depression and serious anxiety problems (although I didn't go into much detail about the anxiety with GP).

It usually focused on a particular event,
and I would twist my memories of it so that I believed I'd behaved awfully. Particularly if I'd had a drink, (I know I shouldn't [blush). 99.9% of the time, my paranoia was totally unwarranted and I had literally twisted events in my head.

Since taking the ADs, I've been much better and have really started enjoying things and not worrying what I did/what people said etc.

This weekened I went to a wedding. Things are a bit hazy at the end and I'm convinced I was a total nightmare. No one we went with mentioned anything and DP is now fed up with me cos I keep asking if I did anything awful and he keeps saying NO.

He used to get so exasperated with me asking in the past, but literally the feelings of anxiety and dread are overwhelming and make me feel sick.

The logical part of my head knows I was probably as 'merry' as a lot of other people but I can't help worrying.

I'm on prozac and forgot to take them with me when we went away so I missed 2 days of the medication. Would it take that little to make these awful feelings come back? I hate it SO much and really thought I'd turned a corner.

Sorry, this post sounds like i'm bonkers and very self-obsessed. I'm really not though when I'm feeling normal.

Thanks for reading.

[lucyellensmum]

not bonkers at all.

Whenever i have gotten drunk in the past (dim and distant!) i always used to feel guilty, and like i had disgraced myself, even if i could remember everything i did the night before. So i think it is quite common to feel this way, even if you have done NOTHING.

I am on a similar medication to prozac and i think missing two tablets isn;t the end of the world, but add the alcohol to the mix it will make you feel bad i think.

Are you hvaing any counselling for your anxiety? It sounds as though you need some as you appear to have self esteem issues as well, judging from the fact you keep turning to your DP for reassurance that you "behaved" yourself.

Why don't you give it a few days to get over your "hangover" and settle back down. If you are still feeling bad, go back to your GP.

I totally sympathise, i suffer from anxiety and i know how shit it is.

[noonki]

Not self-obsessed or bonkers

If I told you some of the things I have thought in the past you would reassess your meaning of bonkers !

I bet nothing happened otherwise he would have said something.

Prozac and alcohol can be a horrible mix, and if you ahdn't drunk for a while your tolerance levels would have been really low.

Well done for getting help in the first place that I reackon is the hardest bit.

It sounds like you could really benefit from cognative behavioural therapy - if you don't like the first counsellor you see don't give up, try again.

good luck, I have been anxious in the past and got over it, so it is possible but | sympathise. I hated that feeling of knowing I was being irrational but not being able to stopmyself.

ps don't be to hard on your DP as it is difficult for him to!

[prozacyuk]

Thanks so much guys . I've just felt SO awful since the weekend. Reading these posts has really helped. When it's all churning round my head I do feel like I'm losing it.

The worst thing is it was a lovely wedding but since then I've just made myself sick with worry about it and will now have totally ruined the memory of what in all probability was a great time. Every time I think back to it and the bits I feel hazy about my whole chest constricts and a wave of dread courses through me (although I've got NOTHING specific I remember to be embarrassed about ).

Noonki, you've hit the nail on the head. It's so horrid knowing you're being irrational but the irrational part of your head manages to convince you it's right.

I think I'll give this a few days to see if it passes. I've literally had 5 months or so with none of these anxieties and feel like I've had the best holiday ever from my head! I'm really hoping it will pass.

If not, I'll go back to the gp and discuss the anxiety side of things with her, she's lovely. I'll see what she suggests about CBT. I'd love to look at changing my thoughts/behaviour, although the ADs have been helping too.

Thanks again

[prozacyuk]

Hello, just wanted to say thanks again and I feel much better today.

Feelings of horridness have almost completely subsided. I was so scared a few days ago as these feelings went on for months on end in the past. I think I'd still get them if I think back and dwell on the event, but have been very stern with myself in not doing that and just moving on. (This in itself is a shame as I can't think back to what was 99% a lovely time as the horrid feelings about the hazy bits take over).

This has told me not to be too flippant about feeling like 'I'm cured'. When I see gp to get a repeat prescription I'll talk to her about the anxiety/paranoia.

It's been a bit of a shock to know it's still lurking after almost 6 months without it appearing.

I think everyone's kind words helped a lot, it's nice to know you're not mad and people understand!

Have a great weekend