thread58016

[yetagain]

(please excuse - changed my name for this one)
I'm really worried about my dh -please please give me some advice. Every 4 months or so he sinks into a sort of mini depression and he's doing it again now.
Symptoms - he tells me he feels life is meaningless, he sneaks off at work a few times a day to cry, he has started to smoke again, he gets withdrawn, snappy and drinks more, he has wierd nightmares and disturbed sleep. But after a week or 2 he seems to pull himself out of it and maybe in a month will tell me he feels happier than ever. Often these periods coincide with a stressful time at work or home but this time everything seems fine. (He's just been given a big pay rise and we are getting along well together I think.) He point blank refuses to go to a doctor because he is extremely anti medication and thinks they'll just palm him off with pills.

I feel like I've been kicked in the guts that this is happening again. I feel angry with him that he has a lovely family and a nice life but he can never find contentment with us. What the hell should I do?
Does he need medication? I probably agree with his fear of taking medication after all the scare stories at the moment but what else can he do. He does agree to take St John's Wort but says it makes no difference.

Should I tell him to pull himself together? (I know I shouldn't but that's what I feel like doing. I've got more to deal with than him. I'm facing redundancy from a job I love.)
Ignore? Try to get to the bottom of it? -he hates talking things like this through and it seems to make him feel worse and angry if I try.

I'm scared that one day we'll come home to find his body on the floor. I can't force him to a doctor and would it do any good if I did?

[Evesmama]

he 'relly' needs to do something about it!
his mood swings and depression should be discussed with his doctor and maybe counselling offered? he sounds like he loses his perspective and go's into himself, which isnt helping..my dp its similar but not as bad as this and i think they think that men just have to cope, but often they cant
hope he gets some much needed help

[yetagain]

thanks Evesmama. I agree he needs something but how I would ever persuade him to go to counselling I have no idea

I'm going to try and copy this onto a thread with a title now!

[Evesmama]

i cant tell you that one hun..will he talk about his 'bad' times???
does he realise how bad hes getting and how worried you are??