need distracting - anyone around?

[paperchain]

cant go into it all

but desperately need distracting

thank you

[copingvquietly]

im here x

[paperchain]

tell me something funny

please

[copingvquietly]

ok thats easy.

this morning i was in bed feeding j whilst opening the post and gave myself a papercut across my nipple

wasnt funny but is now lol

[paperchain]

oh my god

that is soooooooooooooooooooo not funny

but ever so good as a distrsaction!

altho, the topic could be slightly less triggering...

ouch - poor you

[copingvquietly]

fuck.sorry

right ok ermmmmmm

[paperchain]

not a prob - it did make me

talking of nipples - I have a nasty gnat bite on one of mine. It is soooooooooooo sore. I have been scratching and scratching

[jes74]

i have just baked 30 fairy cakes that look like mini pancakes the moral is remember to whisk after the two year old stirred the mixture

[copingvquietly]

oh not nice.

ok where are you in the house?

[jes74]

though my eldest appears to think it is not funny and mummy needs cooking lessons

[paperchain]

oh jes....

when I read your post I thought you were going to say they looked like nipples

[copingvquietly]

oohh jes ive got maple syrup

[jes74]

well i wish but alas not even little nipples

[jes74]

maple syrup theres an idea i knew i should not cook with no sleep

[paperchain]

I am in my bedroom

there are children playing somewhere making lots of noise and being very rough with each other

I want to do myself some harm

I HATE these feelings. Just when I thought I was on top of it and doing well it hits be wham bam in the middle of the eyes again

I dont think I am ever going to lose it

and in that case I cannot cope with it

[copingvquietly]

its made you uptight yes?

is there anyway you can put on some music just loud enough to drown out thier noise?

[jes74]

when we move forward sometimes as cvq knows too well we get knocked off our feet again but time does heal and it sounds as though you are just beginning to get the support needed to allow the healing to begin

[paperchain]

acutally no - it has nothing to do with them - other than they naturally over the years have contributed to my stress levels, but that isnt their faults

no, this came on suddenly

I have been swimming along for aabout a month and now sunk deep to the bottom of the ocean again with nothing to hold on to any more

[jes74]

i have read some of your threads and my own childhood was traumatic to say the least but i am here in a good place now

[paperchain]

chameleon that made me lol

jes - thank you for your considerate post. But nothing significant has changed iykwim - with my therapy etc. I dont get any other support. I dont qualify. So I doint think ti is that

I am so bloody despondent

the reason ther are 3 children in teh house is purelyu and selfishly so I can hide

[smurfgirl]

Just don't think for a bit (easier said than done), load music on, clean the house, sing a long as you clean.

When I can't SI I try very hard to not think - tbh I think sometimes when I am like that MN is not necessarily a good distraction - too quiet in my head.

[paperchain]

hope that dint come out rude jes - didnt mean it to be rude

[jes74]

no not rude at all i have never had formal therapy i never asked but i have a great husband and good friends i have found time has worked for me and sheer stubborness on my part. I am sorry the support has not been there for you x

[paperchain]

I am pleased for you jes

unfortunately it isnt workin like that for me

and time is running out

[paperchain]

smurfgirl - what else then?