Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

1 2

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Should patient confidentiality still be observed when a parent encourages a suicidal teenager to see his GP?

30 replies

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 21:33

Terribly sad local story

So after being warned by her son's friends of his state of mind his mother encouraged him to go, went in with him, and then came out so that he could talk more freely, but the doctor didn't/couldn't then tell her what was said, and now her son is dead.

Can that be right?

OP posts:

Report

thisisyesterday · 20/06/2008 21:35

i don't think that knowing what had been said would have helped.

she knew he had talked of doing something silly, that's why she encouraged him to see the GP. so she wouldn't have learned anything new.

and short of chaining herself to him she couldn't have prevented it. sad as that is.

what should have happened though is that he had proper help, and an urgent referral from the GP to a psych for a review

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 21:40

Well, yes, but he spoke specifically to the doctor about hanging, as ooposed to the vague "doing something silly" others spoke of (I know that's a euphemism but it's such a mild one)

Yes, the GP should have been more proactive, but maybe if his mother had known what he said she would have pushed for help instead of leaving him to it.

Mind you "it's your future Matthew" are awful last words to have said to your son

OP posts:

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2008 21:43

As a parent of teens I find this sort of thing incredibly difficult to reconcile although I absolutely agree with yesterday wrt a proper referral.

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 21:47

its sad it really is- my ds whose 14 was telephoned by the gp i answered and they asked for him i said he was upstairs could i answer their query ?
no she said its private
ds came down answered the fone and said no i dont smoke?
theyd rung to sk him if he ws a smoker becuse he has asthma meds.

hes still 14 living with me when did my recognition as his parent cease?

nooka · 20/06/2008 21:52

I'm not sure how it would have helped for the mother to know the specifics. She already knew he was very unhappy and had suicidal thoughts. The tragedy is that he didn't get a speedier referral, but I am afraid that these cases are not necessarily preventable.

SlartyBartFast · 20/06/2008 21:53

i thought you are in parental control until they are out of full time education?

nooka · 20/06/2008 21:54

Windy I am afraid that many young people do things (including smoking) that their parents are totally unaware of, so in this instance asking your son directly (although I'm not sure why over the telephone) is likely to produce more accurate results. It may well be that in your case you do know, but I am sure that's the reason why they wanted to talk to him.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2008 21:56

Apparently not Slarty.

When my dd last had surgery she countersigned her own medical consent. And had she not signed it we would have had trouble persuading them to go ahead. The time before that was the same; she was 12 then.

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 21:56

I wonder if maybe she took him to the GP as a precaution, like immunisation, and as the GP didn't immediately flag him up as a serious suicide risk and refer him she thought he would be OK.

If this was my son I would want to know what had been said and do something about it if possible

OK, it might not have made any difference in the end, but she would not have been left with "if only".

OP posts:

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 21:57

Saggar, she signed her own consent from at 12???

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 20/06/2008 21:58

saggars

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2008 21:59

We both signed, she had to specifically agree to surgery, that she understood the risks and sign on the dotted line.

controlfreakyagain · 20/06/2008 22:03

there is no prescribed age at which children can seek and expect medical confidentiality / parents wont be informed.... the test is dependent on their "competence" as judged by the gp... what used to be called gillick competence but which has been renamed more recently after someone whose name i cant nb.... hence how teenagers can seek confidential contraceptive / abortion advice.

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 22:08

By nooka on Fri 20-Jun-08 21:54:48
Windy I am afraid that many young people do things (including smoking) that their parents are totally unaware of, so in this instance asking your son directly (although I'm not sure why over the telephone) is likely to produce more accurate results. It may well be that in your case you do know, but I am sure that's the reason why they wanted to talk to him.

nooky i just hate the fact my babies are not babies lol andi felt excluded ffs it was even my telephone line lol

orangehead · 20/06/2008 22:09

Sad story. But could of worked the other way too. If he decided to seek help from the doctor and not kill himself, then he found out the doc had gone behind his back and told his mum. The feeling of embarrassment that his mum knew feelings he didnt want her to her, the feeling that he could couldnt trust anyone as the doc had broken it, could of then tipped himover the edge when he was already in a state. Then the doc would of been struck off. I know its hard for parents and I know I will find it hard too but at that age they have as much right to confidentality as you

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2008 22:10

Generally referred to as Fraser competence these days. Victoria Gillick was (in)famous for trying to prove that prescribing contraception for a minor was illegal because the doctor would be committing an offence of encouraging sex with a minor. And that consent was for the parent to give.

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 22:10

Ohhhh, the Gillick woman - I remember her - she was "interesting"

So although this lad was 17 the GP could have said something to his mother, cf? Or is it only a one-way thing? I have no problem with confidentiality about contraception, or anything else much that's a life choice - but suicide...

OP posts:

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/06/2008 22:21

I'm not sure he could ww.

Most of the competency stuff relates to under 16s, over that they are 'encouraged' to speak with family members. If the 'child' is at significant harm then the GP can disclose info to the parent - he must have thought that wasn't the case I suppose.

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 22:22

ive met victoria gillick she was lovely really very nice.

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 22:30

Crackers though, windy.

OP posts:

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 22:30

(I wonder how her billions of children turned out?)

OP posts:

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 22:55

she seemed rather sane tbh i met her in a seconhand baby shop in wisbech,,,,,,secondhand bby stuff obviously not babies lol

WendyWeber · 20/06/2008 22:58

are you sure???

OP posts:

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 23:28

sure about her or the babies???lolol

windygalestoday · 20/06/2008 23:30

i just googled her she has a 13 bedroomed house in wisbech,,,,,,

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.