Not been here in long time?, is it still the right place? or am i being a drama queen?

[PatheticMum]

i work full time long hours from home.
I get to see lots more of my child than i would if was working out of home.
I have a nice but stressful job.
I had quite bad PND when my LO was born, nothing worked, i managed to 'get myseelf' out of it as well as coming to terms with(sort of) my crap childhood.
I have beautiful child, lovely partner, nice home, money(although eratic) coming in, hol booked, everything good...but im not.
moody, snappy and irratable especially with my LO
Not time of month or anything
no different to any other LO i guess, very loving, very helpful, a little cheeky, wingy...but when ive finished work i want to relax..LO doesnt(obviously)..work was particulary stresful this afternoon and instead of taking it in my stride and veing calm and collected i took it out on my LO..then i felt incredibly guilty as all day my LO had been wonderful, just normal kid stuff irritated me..so i guess what i need, is to work out how to stop my snappiness, grow up and see my LO for the wonderful little person they are..just dont feel any bond at minute and i so desperatly want toowhen theyre asleep everynight i feel such guilt that i could have doe things better, spent more time with them, listened more, played more..then tomrorow arrives and history repeats itself

[hobbity]

I'm in a similar situation, but made worse by PMT, I recognise all of your feelings, cant give you any advice but I've just started having councilling an a course of ADs and am thinking about maybes doing an anger management course as I really hate myself when I do snap.

Hang in there!

[PatheticMum]

ive had counselling(which was more to do with my past, but was when i was in the throws of PND), i had to stop going when i started working full time..i really found it helped.
AD's didnt help whatso ever for me for almost a year i was like a zombie taking diff ones, none worked.
Wonder if i can enrol on anger management course localy, how do you find out about them?

Thanks for sharing your feelings with me

[hobbity]

I thought I was the only person who felt like this! I googled on Anger Management, there is an institute of AM who do courses but mainly in London and MIND also offer some advice in this area, I also found a company in Suffolk who do day courses if you live near East Anglia. Will see if I can find the link again and put it here later.

I've been on the ADs for about 2 weeks and do think I feel better, I certainly havent completely flipped out recently.

Hope your day goes well see you here later perhaps?

[PatheticMum]

Hi Hobbity, how has your day been?

Mine was better although with this heat today i could still sense my fuse burning away at certain times when things were going crazy
been to clininc tonight about pill and asked about weight behaviour etc, they said it 'could' contribute so suggested a mini pill, but that could give me periods al over the palce so took normal one for now while i look into it

i really tried with dd today, but can sense she is aware of me feeling stressed and i feel really really terrible about this..i want her to be 'a normal kid' and not worry wether im going to be stressed and tell her off..anyway like i said, nice day, justspent 1/2 hour telling her stories before bed and it really made me feel clsoer to her..but now she wants more stories..and i need a bath and to get sorted for early start in morning!

Anyway, one day over, tomorrow ill try and improve again, hope you can feel better day by day too?

TAke care

[hobbity]

Hiya, mine wasn't too bad dd went to my Dad's last night so only had the toddler and he was pretty contented, hubbie was off work sick but that actually made things less stressy.

I'd looked at going onto the pill, but the Dr said that the only one they could give me 'cos I'm breast feeding would make things worse.

It's brilliant that you read to your dd I always seem to find reasons not to, I think I'm going to see if mine would like me to read to her or play a board game with her in the evenings.

A bit of a small victory though, managed to drop my mobile phone in the washing up bowl and didnt get upset.

Take Care and sleep well.

[hobbity]

Are you still out there?