Looks like DH has Bipolar. I am so sad...

[Nooneshome]

Been with DH 11 yrs, married 6. 2 kids aged 5 and 2. Me 17 wks pregnant. We both aged 36. Things going great until adult stresses started to get to us eg work, building project, sleepless nights and his first breakdown 15 months ago. We hoped this was a one off. He was in a private mental hospital for 5 wks then convalesed at home for a few months, got over the exhaustion and then seemed fine. He stopped taking medication about 8 months ago and all was well until about 2 wks ago. He was thinking about returning to work. Then tell tale signs but nothing as obviously wrong and spectacularly dramatic as last time.

Had a week of cat and mouse with me admitting him to hospital, him denying anything wrong and leaving - he was not then ill enough to be sectioned, probably is now. He is now more accepting of being in hopsital and taking medication but mentally is unrecognisable as my husband. Have mananged to keep it from kids by saying Daddy working away - they remember when he was working prior to his first breakdown that he was away a lot.

His father is difficult character, helped a lot last time but this time has just got really angry and let out a torrent of abuse against me essentiallly saying I have caused this. This has really upset me, I am furious that he could add that kind of stress to all I have to deal with already. I am really worried how his comments will affect my/my husband's and kids' relationships with the parents inlaw in future. I feel his comments were full of hatred for me and unforgivable.

But more than this I am just so sad about our future. I come from 2 broken homes and so wanted to have a much better family life for my own kids. I always went for very stable boyfriends with still married parents t o combat the dysfunction that I come from. I love my husband so much even though we've had marital difficulties this last year. I so want to be with him for the sake of our kids and his and mines sake as well but am just scared about what we all face. I feel so lonely that he is not here, I miss him so much and am increasingly feeling so sad and tearful.

[Fanella]

so sorry for you. I have no experience of this so can't offer any words of wisdom particularly.

Have you spoken at all to FIL since his outburst?

[snotmyfault]

Sorry to know you are having such a bad time .

I have no knowledge of this just hope you get through it and someone will probably be along soon with some useful advice .

Take care. x

[ash6605]

This is so hard for you

I can't really advice but wanted to keep this bumped for you.My mum was Bipolar so if you have anything more specific to ask I'll try to help.

Iknow your children are still young but please try not to hide this from them,they need the truth when they are old enough to understand it.
((((hugs))))

[puppydavies]

it must be a huge shock to you. was bp mentioned as a possibility during his first breakdown? i imagine it must feel like a life sentence right now. and it must be very frightening to see him so changed from the man you know. he's still there, he'll be back, i'm sure of it. bp doesn't have to wreck relationships, though it can put them under severe strain.

i'm not bp but have bp relatives and i have recurrent depression in a way that i've had to make major lifestyle changes/choices and expect it to return intermittently throughout my life, so i think i may have a little insight in to some of what you must be going through. perhaps one of the differences is that i've had 15+ years to come to terms with the way it has shaped my life this far and inevitably will in future. i gave up on the idea of a "cure" a long time ago, now it's a question of finding ways of living with it, and ways of accepting and living within my limitations (the hard bit).

if he can get onto a tolerable meds regime and between you you can look at reducing stress, diet, exercise, maybe meditation etc. there's every reason to think you can get through this together, and be stronger for it.

you must feel incredibly vulnerable right now, do you have understanding family/friends nearby? personally i would give fil as wide a berth as possible unless absolutely necessary - is dh's mum around, can you confide in her how much fil has upset you?