I have zero motivation and don,t know what to do about myself

[chocaddict]

Hi
I can,t even say whether I am depressed or not.
But I have been like this for a while.
I have zero motivation to do anything lately.
I can,t be bothered to do anything at all.
I can never be bothered to clean the house, keep it tidy, do the washing or cook a meal.
Essential things like going to the bank,postoffce, food shopping, I simply cannot be bothered with any of it.
I also have no patience waiting in a queue anywhere and often walk away without doing my errands.
I have a part time job working two nightshifts in a nursing home and can never be bothered going to it, I feel really stressed out doing the job as its very demanding and I don,t feel mentally capable to take it all on board.
The job is poorly paid and I never have enough money for anything so end up borrowing money off my mom and dad.
I realise its in my power to do something about that part of my life but I have never had it in me to look for an alternative.
I have my ds to consider making other job choices difficult.
I am constantly tired and feel run down and frequently fall asleep by 9.00pm at night.
I also get really bored, and lonely, at times.
I suffer from terrible shyness so have no friends, my social anxiety makes it really difficult to get out there and make friends.
I just don,t understand myself at all please tell me I am not the only one like this.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Have you discussed this with your GP in case it is depression?

[chocaddict]

I haven,t.
I would find it very difficult to talk about.
I have tried to get myself going with things but it never works.

[nickytwotimes]

Hi choc
Think I 'spoke' to you the other night?
I agree it might be worth seeing your GP. Perhaps you are so down because you are knackered (no wonder!) and because you feel yo ucould be doing something more stimulating?

[2Happy]

Lack of motivation, and of enjoyment in normal activities are both symptoms of depression. And you are definitely not alone. I describe myself as socially constipated - I know I am lonely, but am just crap in social situations (or maybe everyone really does just dislkie me ).

[chocaddict]

The social anxiety is really bad.
Even family functions are bad for me.
I have been to a few family functions where even though my own family have been there there has also been people I haven,t really known.
I sit there too scared to get up and dance as I think everybody will be watching me.
I feel a real misfit sitting there looking like a real boring sod not talking when really its because I have not got a clue on what to talk to people about.
I sit there wishing the night would end as I feel embarassed about the way I am.

[2Happy]

I can't remember where, tv/radio/paper/whatever, but just recently I was reading/hearing something about people who don't function well in gatherings. It was on about whther, when you walk into a crowded room, you think everyone there is looking at you and thinking "my god, who is that ugly/smelly/stupid woman with the annoying laugh/daft voice, I hope I never meet her again". But if you think about what you think when someone walks into the room, how often have you ever thought something like that about a person? I always think that people don't like me, and while I will probably always think that, the truth is probably more like they just see a very shy person, end of story. Maybe my shyness comes over as aloofness, or even boringness, since I have nothing to say, but probably they don't in fact all take one look at me and hate me. But knowing that doesn't always help. FFS I was at a work meeting today where there was lunch first, and ended up texting dh at work, just to look like I had something else to do while everyone else seemed happy chatting to one another making polite conversation. I hate situations like that. Loathe them. But I don't think that not going out if the answer - locking yourself away doen't make you feel better, in fact it makes you dread social occasions all the more. You need to learn how to handle your anxiety - maybe your GP could refer you for cognitive behavioural therapy?