Would anyone like to join me on a self-help thread to get out of a rut and feel happier?

[Janni]

I am not happy. I know there are lots of things I could/should do to feel happier eg eat better, do more exercise, make an effort with friends, get out of the house more...but I'm in a rut and feel a bit defeated.

I had the idea of using this thread to post each day a few things we could each do to make ourselves feel better then report back,
encourage each other etc.

Any takers?

[gymgym10]

Hi Janni
Yes I know how you feel, I am not happy & feel suffocated by my 3dd's all the time. In particular I can't cope with my oldest who is 8, she is so demanding. I too need to make the effort to eat healthier & to cut down on alcohol.
Got to go now as kids being pains. Will be back to post later!

[whispywhisp]

Yep...count me in! I felt very low/depressed just a few weeks back. Took up a healthier diet and left the car at home more and I feel much better for it. Have more energy, am happier in myself and far more patience with the kids. I'll be back! xxxx

[allytjd]

I'll try. but i am tryimg to cut back on my mumsnet addiction at the moment so I might be sporadic. I have always been prone to depression but the gaps between the lows are getting shorter and i am not coping v. well with the kids, DS1 v. demanding/difficult(9), DS2 mild learning difficulties (and therefore a worry), DS3 (three!). Thinking about visiting GP to ask about CBT (scared of AD's) and trying more exercise.

[Janni]

Oh that's great, I didn't think anyone was going to respond.

OK, my thing for tonight will be to have a nice bath and start a good book. Very luckily for me DH came home early to help with the awful hour before DD (3) goes to bed and when I also have to help the other two with homework etc, so I'm feeling better now than when I posted earlier.

I've also emailed DDs nursery to request an extra session. She goes three afternoons a week and is with me all day the other two days. Those two days are the worst of the week as she's very demanding!

My idea is that we post each day a couple of ideas that will make the day easier and support each other to carry them through.

[FuriousGeorge]

I'll join in.I'm suffering from anxiety which makes me feel down.I'm intending to go to the Drs re CBT,too,but am doing everything I can to help myself.

I have been advised to write a diary,but only put positive,good stuff that happened in it,not the bad.Apparently this is meant to change your way of thinking from negative to positive.Hmmm,we'll see.

[whispywhisp]

I also have a child of pre-school age - she's 4yrs old - she does 2.5 days a week at playgroup. I hate to admit this but the 1.5 days she isn't at playgroup are, sometimes, the hardest days of the week. She is quite a demanding 4yr old - y'know the sort you simply can't reason with. My elder daughter, she's 9 - sailed through this age - she's a much more easy going child and easy to please.

Janni - I will keep up with your thread because it'll be interesting to see how others cope with the stresses and strains of being a parent etc. I'm always glad of any help/advice.

I don't keep a diary as such - I keep a food diary - it helps me to keep a check on the types of food I eat and if I'm tempted with a biscuit/cake etc...I don't eat it because I know I'll have to write it in the diary at the end of the day, iyswim!

I've two main causes of my depression. One is the loss of my Dad who died suddenly just over 2yrs ago (hit by drunk driver) and I've never really come to terms with it and my other cause is my weight. I am overweight. I hate it. I refuse to look in a mirror. I married DH 14yrs ago and was a very slim size 12. 14yrs later and two children later and I'm much bigger and it gets me down so much. This is why I now leave the car at home, walk everywhere and eat healthier and yes its working. xxxxx

[Janni]

Well hello to everyone and thanks for joining the thread. See you tomorrow x

[scattyspice]

I'm in Janni. What a good idea. Things that have helped me recently:

Reading self help books from the library (really good one called 'overcoming anxiety for dummies')

Eating reg esp within 1/2 hr of getting up (really helps with the morning chaos).

Cut right down on alcohol (esp wine).

Keep on top of housework (flylady works for me).

Keep on top of spending (avoid guilt).

Lower standards generally (tendancy for perfectionism).

Try to tackle DDs sleep problems (gave up on that one)

Try to accept things i can't change (see above).

Off to watch Gok now

[Mojomummy]

count me in.

I was on citalopram since August 2007, but took my last tablet (about 2-5mg) just over 2 weeks ago.

I found the AD's no good for me - turned me into a zombie.

Have had a session with a psychiatrist & will be having my first session on CBT next Thursday...paid for by private healthcare thank goodness.

[Janni]

Good morning.
Well I have a day where I have to be out and about a fair bit and I always feel brighter on those days, despite the rain.

One nice thing I'm going to do for myself today is buy a new jacket as I wear the same one day in, day out.

A household job that's on my mind is cleaning the toilets/bathroom as it's a bit grubby and I hate it like that!

Will be interested to read what others are doing for themselves today.

[MissChief]

hi, count me in too. Depression on & off for yrs and trying to battle it right now, started ADs and have helped hugely with sleep though not yet with mood . Am starting CBT privately - huge waiting list where I live for it on the NHS but those interested in it, do you know about the nHS-backed, free website - www.livinglifetothefull.com - online cBT, v good, though must say I've not done it regularly as I should, nice to know it's there though.
Otherwise, I'm trying to focus on living in the present as much as I can (never comes easily to me) and walking a lot, always helps my mood.
This thread is a great idea!

[whispywhisp]

Hi all. Well so far today I have walked DD1 to school and DD2 to playgroup - round trip of about 4 miles. Then walked a further 2 miles on my own which I love because it gives me time to think and clear my head! Have got tea cooking whilst I'm typing this (mash, cabbage, carrots, swede and green beans with sausages) and my next job is to unload the washing machine and do a quick hoover-up! Then its kettle on and an hour or so with my current book before I start sorting out the ironing pile. All these little jobs I do during the day help me to have a nice quiet stress-free evening with the kids....hopefully!

[blinkingthreetimes]

Can I join in too please I feel a bit rubbish would love some motivation .

I have 5 dc one with sn and am feeling a litle overwhelmed by it all

[SandyDennyWasAGreatSinger]

hope i'm not too late. I had pnd and severe anxiety after dd was born 2 years ago and i came off ad's about 9 months ago. in the past few months both the anxiety and depression have started to come back to haunt me. It's quite scary really as i don't want to go back to how i was.

Mental health services in my PCT have been severely cut back. when i started to feel worse again i got put on a waiting list and haven't heard anything since. I bought myself some very good CBT books out of desperation and i'm trying to find the time to work through them.

today is a bad day. dd has a horrible cold and i'm feeling completely stuck. feeling very guilty for being on mnet to begin with. She would normally be at playgroup today (she goes 3 mornings a week) and is driving me slowly mad.

if i can do one thing to make myself feel better today i think it will be nothing more ambitious than trying to sleep when she has a nap as she kept me up all of last night.

[frankie3]

I have written a list of 5 friends who I haven't phoned for ages because I can't be bothered, and we have drifted. So I aim to phone them all today as I will lose all my friends if I don't make an effort.

Will report back later.

[MissChief]

sandy, have a look at www.livinglifetothefull
I find it easier to do CBT online sometimes than via a book, got aforum on there too.
Like Frankie's idea too, I'm terrible for keeping in contact when i'm donw.

[Mojomummy]

I'm just been to my local charity book shop (DH took DD1 to school as he is off work this week) to collect a book - Optimum Nutrition by Patrick Holford.

I spent last night researching brainbiocentre.com & found there are potentially deficiencies which can cause depression/anxiety.

Have ordered myself berroc b complex & am just about to order some 5-htp which is an amino acid which helps brain to hold on to serotonin.

It's raining here & I don't think that helps our general moods.....

[Mojomummy]

thanks for the livinglifetothefull link

Will be reading through it this evening.

Now off to fold piles & piles of washing.

[scattyspice]

Hi all!

You guys have some good ideas.
janni I've just packed away my winter clothes and got out my spring coat (a green mac) feel much more summery already.

misschief That website looks good. I'll have a proper look later.

whispy I love to walk alone. DH sends me out if i get too tetchy and it really clears the head.

blinking You sound like you have a lot on your plate. I get over whelmed with just 2 (and really they're pretty easy kids).

sandy My DD (3) had a cold at easter and was like a new baby again, soooo clingy. I find it really hard (reminds me not to have any more babies though LOL).

Franky I have lost touch with so many friends since having DCs, tis a shame.

mojo a good diet really does help. i had a fasting bld test on mon and couldn't eat until 9.20, it made me realise how much mood is dependent on eating regularly.

Last night i finally gave up on DDs sleep training and let her back into my bed. i'm going to accept that she can't sleep without me for a while then try again later. The whole sitting on her bed for hrs in the night was making us both miserable.

[inaquandary]

hello everyone - sounds like a good thread to join - things been up and down for for a long time mainly relationship issues and my appearance you know same old same old. I have been trying for the last week or so to try and be more positive and it has made me happier I am reading self help - (Paul McKenna) book right now and although dont thin it will change my life in 7 days I am finding it really interesting. I agree with others about making an effort to get a couple of things done in a day that make you feel good ie clearing out a drawer that you have been putting off for months(years)!!! Also making a little effort with appearance too. Last night I made myself pluck my eyebrows rather than sinking in front of TV I am going to look at the livinglifetothe full link in a min - back later

[cruisemum1]

i think i need to follow a thread like this. Count me in. cannot read all postts now as i have a tonne of stuff to do while ds naps

[cruisemum1]

i think i need to follow a thread like this. Count me in. cannot read all postts now as i have a tonne of stuff to do while ds naps

[frankie3]

Haven't made the phone calls yet... Why do I find it such an effort?

[Janni]

frankie3 - I think trying to phone 5 people in one day is too much. Pick the one you would most like to speak to and phone that number. Even if they're not there and you leave a message, that will count as one phone call. If you feel like doing more do it, if not, do another one tomorrow.

The weather here is AWFUL, feel like crawling into bed as I have an hour before school pick=up and DD is at nursery, but instead am eating a decent lunch. Looked for a new jacket but couldn't find one. I hardly ever take DD shopping but it was quite good fun. She only wanted me to try pink things on! I've put my old jacket in the wash and will sew buttons on my winter coat now.

MissChief - thanks for the CBT link and Mojomummy thanks for the supplememnts info.
Will look into it.

Blinking - you really have got a lot on your plate - be kind to yourself.

Hello to everyone else.

[scattyspice]

quandry - I did my eyebrows last night too (something about watching GOK that makes me want to be glam!)

Frankie - can you e mail or txt them I hate using the phone.

janni - shame about the jacket, but at least you had a good time.

DS is not back til 7 tonight and I'm struggling already LOL. Need to get these kids fed!