It's my birthday and I want to sob and sob

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

I have just completely fucked up everything. This is the worst birthday I have ever had, and I can tell you, I have had some absolute total miseries.

DD ill in bed.
DH ill in bed.
DH bought me presents I did not want and we cannot afford and I was so cross I threw them back in his face and told him to take them back to the shop.

I have exceeded even my own brattish expectations.

I feel so miserable and crap and OLD.

[FrannyandZooey]

oh DD I am sorry

I bet it will all come out in the wash, but oh dear

[HuwEdwards]

It's early, you have time to apologise for throwing them in his face, but maybe you could come to an arrangement whereby he takes some back - the only sensible thing to do if you really can't affors them. But it sounds like his motives were good.

Anyway, happy birthday - I'm 45 - are you as old as me?

[FatBellyHoHoHo]

get yourself a cuppa
then run yourself a hot bath full of bubbles
close bathroom door with you inside
get into bath
relax...
come out in half an hour feeling much better!

have the best birthday you can.. and hope for next year's to be better x

[FrannyandZooey]

yes what is it YOU want to do today

go and get on with it

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

I am 43. But what difference does it make? 43? 45? It is so bloody old.

One of the most significant moments of my life was when I did exactly the same thing to my parents when I was 17. I have spent the rest of my life so ashamed of myself that I have never told anyone what I did, until now, here.

And now I have just done the same thing again to dh. I don't think my parents have ever forgiven me, and neither will dh.

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

I can't do what I would like to do as dd and dh are ill in bed. Normally, we would go out for the day but today I will just have to sit at home and do some housework or something. It has been the same for the last 3 days as before dd and dh, ds3 was ill.

[FrannyandZooey]

oh come on

you had a strop at your dp and behaved badly

it's not great but we have all done it

being married contains moments like this unfortunately

you can sort this out

[HuwEdwards]

you whipper-snapper you. I just KNEW you wouldn't be as old as me. No-one is.

It's just a number

It's obviously making you feel really bad, so go and make it right again with your DH, then like the others have said, go and do something you want to.

[FrannyandZooey]

sorry about the illness, that is very miserable

would you not enjoy a day out by yourself? go for a long walk, have tea somewhere, something like that? how about goijg to see a film?

[lilmissmummy]

You poor thing- you sound like you need a big hug and a cuppa! It is ok for you to feel like this- I know that I would- Christmas is a stressful enough time without people being ill and then to have money worries and your birthday on top is probably enough just to tip you over the edge! It is ok to feel like this though- it is normal. DH will forgive you because he loves you.

As you have DD and DH ill in bed how about you go over to a friends for a coffee or pop in to see your parents or just do something to get out of the house. Even take DS to the park and go on the swings.

Just get out of the house and do something for you. Just because you are 43 doesnt mean that you have to stay in!

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

So please advise me. Dh has bought me a mobile phone I do not need (already have one, albeit an old one which does not sing and dance and make the dinner like modern mobiles do) and a digital photo frame which cost him £220 which I do not need or want at all. £220 fgs! We do not have that sort of money and I actually asked for some new plates as our every day service has lots of broken pieces but dh would not buy the plates as he said it was not personal enough. How can he be married to me and not realise that I am not comfortable with fancy techy things, and I just want plain things like everyday plates which will get used?

S my point is, if I go to make up with him, do I pretend that I have changed my mind about the mobile and the digital photo frame or do I still ask that I can have the plates instead?

[FrannyandZooey]

I think I would say something like "I am terribly sorry I was so rude, and I very much appreciate you getting me such a luxurious present, but do you think we could swop this and get the plates instead? I would prefer that because xyz"

[HuwEdwards]

My advce is forget the plates - I mean I absolutely understand him here - he wants to TREAT you on your birthday - plates, whilst necessary are so.....mundane.

So, I would say, thanks for the phone, I love it. Please could we get the money back for the photoframe, whilst it's lovely, it's just too costly to justify?

[Dottydot]

Hi there. Sorry your day's started out so crap...

How about you keep the phone but ask him if you can return the photo frame and swap it for the plates. Tell him it was a lovely gesture but you'd much rather have the plates but he's utterly wonderful for trying to think of personal, different presents for you (etc.etc. ).

Mind you, I speak as someone who bought her techno-phobic dp a new mobile phone for Christmas... She'd told me she didn't want it by Boxing day and I said she was right - I love gadgety things and she doesn't so it was silly really. By the 28th she'd changed her mind again and now won't be parted from it!

So maybe the phone will grow on you and it's a compromise?!

[Dottydot]

Snap F&Z and Huw!! See, we must be right!

[SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl]

well you arent oldand if you start thinking you are then you will be depressed for the rest of your life

once the day goes sour it is hard to rescue it

but a good way is saying sorry

say it and you will get nearer to meaning it

then make some plans to do something nice

[HuwEdwards]

Agree dotty Once you get the money back for the frame, buy the plates yourself in a week or 2.

[harman]

Message withdrawn

[DumbledoreWithBoughsOfHolly]

Yes, I could get used to the phone (although I snapped at dh that I had no need of a phone and there were such things as public phones and 20p pieces if I needed to make a call ) but the photo frame was stupid.

The trouble is, he got the children to give it to me so now they have seen "their" present rubbished by me. I did say to them that it was not their fault as they did not actually choose this for me, just dh assigned this present to them to give to me, but the damage has been done.

I am such a bitch, I know. It is kind of you to speak to me as you must now know what sort of person I really am.

[fullmoonfiend]

Sorry to hear you've been having such a miserable time DG. It's a lot of hard work when the family is ill at this time of you...Can you go apologise to dh and get a big hug? Agree, see if the photo frame can be returned and plates purchased instead. He propobaly thought plates was too workaday a gift and just wanted to treat you.

And 43 is not so bloody old Hope your day improves x

[collision]

Keep the phone and swap the frame for the plates.

Say sorry to DH because once you have said sorry people cannot be cross with you anymore! (my philosophy anyway!)

Get yourself dressed nicely and go to the cinema and watch Enchanted. On your own with a big tub of popcorn.

I dare you. That is exactly what I would do if I was you.

[fullmoonfiend]

And your not a bitch. You're human and sound at the end of your tether with stuff. It happens, it doesn't make yu a bad person....

[Dottydot]

Oh DD - don't beat yourself up about it. Birthdays are emotional times and we've just had Christmas and your family's all been ill = not good!!

Just try and smooth things over with dh, go out for lunch or plan a meal out this week if you can and try to enjoy a bit of the rest of today.

It's not the worst thing in the world to have a hissy fit at your other half (as I keep telling dp..!)

[SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl]

you are thinking too much

[SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl]

oh yes enchanted is a wondeful film