Another I peed off that DP has gone down the pub type thread, sorry.

[Flossam]

Said in the title basically. DP has his mate down and has just now left for his second night out this weekend on the pss. I always dread this mate coming down but I kind of feel it's especially not on this weekend. I'm 8 and half months pregnant, DP has been out working long days and nights all week so this is my 5th day at home on my own as I'm on mat leave. I was expecting a little more consideration than when they are normally here. I got woken up 3 times last night, ended up getting up, my bedroom has been taken over all day, from the moment I got up and DP has had nothing to do with me all day. I even had to go to the lounge to get dressed and hope they didn't decide to come wondering in, as they were still in the bloody bedroom.

They have only just left, having shut themselves away in the bedroom all day on the computer. DP has just told me I was in the wrong for sitting in the lounge (Where people normally socialise?) and should and come and watched what they were doing? I had told DP that I really wanted to watch fireworks this year, months ago. The 'lads' don't want to go, they will rather stay in the pub. I stayed in last night, as I thought it was important for them to have some 'men time' thinking I would be out with them tonight, hopefully to the fireworks. The next thing I know DP is waking me up this afternoon, coat on, telling me they are off, without any hint of an invitation.

I know this is once again waffly and whingey but I'm feeling quite isolated and lonely since I left work and I'm really hurting. I can't help thinking that DP shouldn't be going out getting this pssed this late on in my pregnancy. He did the same last weekend as well. I know I'm probably just another one of those bunny boiling annoying women who can't stand to be left on her own but I really just needed to get it off my chest. Sorry

[pixiefish]

Enjoy the time you've got now- read a book and catch up on your sleep. I do think your dp is selfish and wonder what would happen if you went into labour but stuff him Flossam- enjoy the time, read, soak in the bath

[tammybear]

agree with pixiefish. try to enjoy the time you've got to yourself

[tortoiseshell]

He probably is being unreasonable, but as others have said, make the most of an evening where you can please yourself what you do, on your own - it might be 18 years before you get another!

[tillykins]

Oh poor you Flossam. I do agree with the others about trying to enjoy the time you have but if it were me I would have sat down and cried. I do think your DP is being selfish - why has he had his friend down NOW when you are so close to going into labour? If I were you, I would go see one of your friends and get a takeaway with her - and just leave him a note saying you have gone out
Then when his friend goes home, tell him how upset you are by all this. I am trying to think understanding things for your DP, perhaps he is just letting off steam knowing that he won't be able to when the baby comes but I keep thinking how I would feel if I were you - and I would feel cross and hurt
Hope you feel better soon

[mumwithnoname]

I'd feel cross and hurt too. It's nice to have time to yourself BUT only if you choose it- doesn't seem like you;ve had much choice!Maybe you should sit down and have a long talk, set some rules and things before this baby is born.

Take care.

[Flossam]

Thanks very much for your responses. I know what you are saying but as he was out last night too and on two night shifts the night before this is my fourth night home alone! The novelty has more than worn off. Sitting down and talking to him seems to get me nowhere. He is always completely convinced that I am unreasonable, me the other way round and we rarely seem to meet in the middle IYSWIM. I have had a very good cry about it! (He also reckons I'm a drama queen! )

[agy]

Oh Flossam, that is so sad. I hope things cheer up for you soon.

[yurtgirl]

Message withdrawn

[vict17]

Poor you Flossam - I think you should sit him down when his friend goes and explain rationally how you feel and how this ignoring of your feelings will have to stop. Especially when your baby is born - is it your first? Does your partner realise he'll need to be around to help?

[Flossam]

I think he does but as I've said on here before I think the whole thing will be a huge shock to him. It is our first, we had our friend down recently with her nine month old and for the first time he said 'I think I might feel left out' all before that he is making out that it will be him and the baby and that I'm not that important! Of course I don't want him to feel left out but it is more more than possible that he may feel that way. We have been getting on really quite well recently, but as soon as his friends are involved it all changes. He went to see this friend down south (we live in London) about 6 weeks ago. I had to go to the hospital as I was having pains, but when I phoned him at 5 in the afternoon (He was supposed to be coming back that afternoon) he told me he was too drunk to travel back now and could he send his brother to the hospital with me? I am hoping, niavely I'm sure that when baby comes he will grow up and start acting more responsibly. He has the about 6-7 weeks off with me soon, so should have plenty of time to spend with baby so he will begin to understand what things will be like! The reason his mate is up this weekend is because he veiws it as his 'last chance'.

[Looneymum]

Dear Flossam - what a real shame he isn't considering your feelings. This is such a special and tiring time. Your DP should be trying to get as much rest as he can before the new arrival as he's going to need it, rather than swanning off getting bladdered! Does he realise that you will need some serious rest once the birthing bit is over and that you will really need his support?! Can you get some girlie chums around you and perhaps go out for a nice long lunch with them or just them around for tea and chat? Your DP really needs to stop drinking so he can at least get you to the hospital when the time comes. Big hugs and a sparkler from me.