Feeling down and lonely

[pennypitstop]

I suffer with depression/ borderline bipolar and have been ok for a while now and all of a sudden today, I am all over the place.

I haven't been sleeping for the last week or so due to an injury to my back so I am feeling rather tired and today I just feel like the world has fallen on top of me.

I feel so alone and have nobody to talk to. I am so upset and I don't even know why.

My kids deserve a better mum.

Thanks for listening.

[DANCESwithHughJackman]

No, your kids deserve their mum. Are you on meds for your depression? It sounds like you might need to adjust your dose. Please try not to beat yourself up. As you know depression is an illness, would you be feeling so bad if you were, for example, asthmatic...ie my children deserve a mum in better health... NO! Your children love you just as you are I'm sure. Please just treat this as a 'bad' day and hopefully things will look up tomorrow.

[ConnorTraceptive]

ALL kids deserve a better mum somedays I know my ds does on occassions (although I would say today I deserved a better ds )

I've had depression myself and tiredness, coupled with feeling unwell always brings me down hard.

[pennypitstop]

I'm taking depakote. Have been for a while now. I have been feeling fairly low for a couple of weeks now, and just seem to have had a crappy day today.

I just want to go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow

[LadyOfWaffle]

Heya - I have days like this alot and really believe DS would be better adopted with a new better mum, but then I think "I hope they do this" "I hope they do that" "I hope they realise he likes this, or dislikes that" etc. etc. and then realise the best person to be making sure DS is loved and looked after is me. The fact you suddenly feel wobbly today after the lack of sleep isn't suprising, lack of sleep for anyone makes them depressed/stressed/upset.
Hope you feel better soon xxx

[WizzWotzzapPop]

So glad you posted, there are many MN like you here, I am sure you will find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.

Your kids only want one mum and that's you. They love you for being you and need you. Don't forget that.

[pennypitstop]

Thanks for all the nice things you have posted. It's nice to be able to come here and unload a little bit.

I put my kids to bed and then sat and cried about nothing in particular. Just the crapness of my life up to now. My poor husband got to hear about 30 years of problems through a mass of blubbering.

I can't believe how crap I feel today and how unstable I suddenly seem.

[tribpot]

It's good you can talk about it - my dh is chronically ill and very depressed and it's much better for me when he can verbalise what's wrong than when he's just introverted and unhappy. I know it's a lot for your dh to deal with, but we have to deal with it every day, regardless of whether you tell us what's wrong. Better out than in!

The tiredness always makes everything worse; can you get some help from the GP?

I constantly feel my ds needs a better mum. I think that's just normal. Hard but normal.

[pennypitstop]

My dh tries to understand as much as possible, but I find it too hard to open up to him most of the time.

Since finding out I'm bipolar, he has made a real effort to find out about it and come to doctors check-up when necessary. He is also starting to recognise my mood changes and tries to help me through.

But, I don't like complaining to him most of the time - I don't know why.