I feel worthless

[LolaTheShowgirl]

When I think of what I have acheived in life I am really disgusted. I am sat here on benefits once again. I've never once been in a job more than 2 years and had around 10 jobs in 7 years. Some even lasted just a day because I felt I couldn't do the job and didn't enjoy it. I really want to be something and i'm nothing. All I do is sit at home day after day. My last job ended in July and since then I've been on benefits which to start with I didn't really mind. The job vascancies that I come across now i'm constantly wondering whether I should apply because I might not be able to do it or be good enough and then I end up not applying or ripping the application form up. I get really depressed and ashamed when I read what great lives and jobs my schoolmates have and I'm here on benefits. Just a little self-pitied moan really, so I don't expect any replies.

[Anna8888]

Lola - I think you need some support .

Could you ask your GP for some counselling? You need self-belief if you are to stick at things and reach goals in life and it doesn't sound as if you've got much of that, and I wonder what in your background prevents you from believing in yourself and your own abilities ? Counselling can help you get over the negative messages you received in the past and see yourself in a better, more positive light so that you can move ahead.

[sparkybabe]

you do sound a bit self-pitying actually - so you believe that everything should be handed out on a plate? Somethings you ahve to work for you know, and it normally takes more than 1 day! Nothing worthwhile is easy. Sorry to be so harsh but sitting around waiting for things to given to you is not the way your friends have great jobs etc!

[CrushWithEyeliner]

I am going to be harsh here...

Lola why don't you start somewhere and stick with a job so you can move up? It takes perseverence but that is how the majority of people in good jobs have acheived it - a "great life" isn't handed to you on a plate you have to work at it..
didn't anyone ever tell you that?

[TREBUCHET]

Lola, I always buggered up jobs calling in sick, skiving etc because I hated them. Really hated them. Once I did something I really enjoyed I never looked back. once you find something that suits you you will be flying.

In the meantime get volunteering in a charity shop or at a nursin home. You won't believe how needed you are there. You could make a difference to someones life by just holding their hand and talking to them. I promise you. It will give you chance to take stock of your abilities, your strengths and weaknesses. When you're armed with that you can figure out what you can do with them. And if all you come up with is "great listener", thats fine. We aren't all going to be high fliers in business and industry. As long as you can find something you enjoy and you are good at and get paid for it, you've got the best gig in the world.

There, sunshiney rant over!!!!

[southeastastra]

lola, one day you will find a job that you'll enjoy and excel in. have faith!


you have to try alot of jobs out before you find something you'll really love doing, you don't have to record every job you've done on your cv

[ChipButty]

Why not speak to a careers advisor? They should be able to make suggestions as to what you could go for. Do your qualifications need updating? If so, try a course where you could help improve your job prospects. What do you WANT to do?

[Skribble]

Perhaps you need to step back and look at what you would really like to do inthe future, then look at how you can achieve that, whats steps can you take to get you closer to that.

Do you have someone that can give you a second opinion, its very hard to talk yourself up on application forms when you doubt yourself even a little bit. Sometimes it call help to pretend you are talking about someone else when you fill forms out.

Ok you are not going to go out and get the perfect job tomorrow but you can start to plan a direction to head or even to try to see if it is the right direction. Lots of people chop and change and retrain these days.

Look at all the options voluteering, training, studying etc. See what funding you can get to do any of these. There are grants availible for retraining and even the Open University give big discounts for low/ non earners.

I am 30+ I have just started a foundation degree, I have had loads of jobs over the past 10 years including delivering pizzas, tidy greeting cards and working in sweet shop. Even if I don't get a job directly related to the qualification I am doing I know doing this course wil help increase my prospects anyway.

On a totaly different path I am also going to volunteer in the Citizens Advice as a lot of jobs on this route require knowledge of housing and benefits and this wwould give me that.

I take it you have kids?? Don't be ashamed about being on benefits many people are for all sorts of reasons and circumstances.

[southeastastra]

lola. take a step back

go and look at yourself in the mirror

pose. arch your back and smile

[LolaTheShowgirl]

You guys, you're all so nice! Thanks so much for your replies. I feel so much better today and i'm going to discuss with my get-back-to-work advisor the best thing for me, whether that be a course or a job.

[Skribble]

Good on you!! Little steps can get you anywhere just slowly .