Am I the only one who feels like this?

[ann12]

I feel like the only person in the world who feels like this. I go to playgrounds and see other Mums with loads of kids looking really happy and I feel like such a failure. I love my son more than anything in the world, but I have really bad anxiety, and take anti depressants, and see a counsellor, but don't seem to be feeling any better. I find it so stressful. Have also just moved house which has really taken it out of me. But I find the responsibility overwhelming, and think I might be damaging my son by my madness. I have a 3 day a week job, and only one child, and I feel like I can't cope - whereas other people cope with miles miles more. I feel so guilty, frustrated with myself, and like a total failure. And everyone else seems so very happy. I wish I could be too, but I just obsess about my anxiety and going crazy! I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, or when I won't feel like this. Anyone know what I mean? I can't remember who I am anymore.... And think I'm boring my husband... And maybe he's going to leave me? Oh my God, such a negative ranting post! Sorry!

[piscesgirl]

Mmmmm sounds familiar! You are not the only one who feels like this. I also get overwhelming feelings of being a bad mother/partner/person and that all I can see sometimes is all the negative stuff my kids do and none of the positive. Everyone can tell me otherwise but if I dont feel it then it doesnt matter what they say.

Do you feel like this all the time or just on and off?

[pigleto]

I am sorry you are feeling bad. There are plenty of people who feel the same, this must be the most common thread on here (not meaning to belittle your situation or anything).

Do you get any regular exercise? Do you need to change your ADs?

[cheekymonk]

I know what you mean ann12 and almost feel i am not worthy/good enough/ up to having a 2nd child. I love being a mum but I find it really hard work and ds very challenging. I didn't expect motherhood to take so much out of me! You think everyone is coping better than you but they are not. I think the ones that worry about being a good mum most definitely are the best mums because they care and want to get it right.
The responsibility is overwhelming and your feelings are very valid.
I'm sure you are not mad but maybe in need of some more support/other outlets.
I work 3 days too and everyone thinks it is a break but it is still work and not relaxation...
the other night ds went to bed as usual and I drank a bottle of wine to myself and sang and danced away to some of my old fave cds. It did me the world of good as dh is away at moment. It prob wasn't the most responsible thing in the world to do but if it helps me remember who i am and give me the strength to carry on striving to be being mum to ds then it is worth it. take care

[ann12]

Thanks ladies. I'm sure that's what makes it worse - thinking that no one understands. I do exercise yes, and I find it does help.

I don't feel like this all the time, no. It's been on and off for 7 years, which really gets me down to think about sometimes. And sometimes I realise that it's much more off than on, and I try to focus on that positive. But sometimes it just completely gets the better of me and I think it's never going to end and I feel totally unable to cope. At the moment I feel like I need to resign from my job, as I just have too much on. But other times I feel really capable. I think this house move has really taken its toll on me, and I don't acknowledge that a build up of stress is what makes me panicky.

When you're low though it's really hard to remember that you're capable isn't it? And especially when you can't sleep in a strange new house!

Just interviewed a girl who has just got married, while working a 16 hour day and moving house. And it's made me feel totally inadequate!