I'm 44. I've lived in the same town for all those years and now have a 10 year old dd and a DP. I have a beautiful home, I'm educated, intelligent, have a sense of humour, I'm kind, I work hard and I have nobody.
I had a 'difficult' childhood and due to that struggled to make friends. But I had a couple. Women who I thought would be with me my whole life. Last year my depression came back with a vengeance. I've never felt so ill. Since confiding in my 'friends' both have blocked me. We didn't argue, there were no cross words, they just decided they didn't like me.
It has made me completely reassess every interaction I've ever had - looking for reasons why nobody has ever included me. I never get invited for work nights out, there's no old school friends desperate to reconnect (although apart from the odd post on here I gave up on social media).
I have reached the only rational conclusion that there is something wrong with me. 44 years and I've not made an impression on anyone. Not one single solitary person. DP tries but he works long hours, and wants to relax when he gets home. I don't actually think we have much in common, but he's a good man and I think just feels trapped by the fact I'm the mother of his child. There is no intimacy and we don't talk.
It's reached the point now that apart from the most basic of social interactions I will NEVER let another human being be part of my life. I will be alone on my own terms.
Not sure what I'm trying to say, but today has been a VERY bad day and I just wanted to get it out somewhere
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Mental health
Accepting you're just a bad person
18 replies
imthelastsplash · 24/01/2017 12:47
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