Not depressed as such, but need a magic wand

[losty]

I cannot believe I am posting here again. But I dont know what to do atm.

I have a history of depression. I have a stressful, busy life caring for my DSs and DH who each have their own health problems. I have also had to deal with loads of other 'problems' in my life etc - so lots of reasons to be be down and depressed.

I think I cope pretty well considering, but sometimes it all just gets too much. I drink more than I should, or would like to. I smoke and also abuse my body in other ways.

I find it hard talking about all these things and often end up very intraverted about things, becuase I dont want to burden others with yet more tales of woe.

But I feel so alone, so scared, so sad about it all. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take it all away.

I know that is not going to happen - but how can I carry on like this? I need help to get through every day...

I know I shall regret posting this, but atm the alternative is worse so I will dare to post

[pinkbubble]

Losty if I had a magic wand I would wave it, several years ago I remember needing that magic wand, obviously I dont know your problems or anything, but I can honestly sympathise! If you want to talk Im around!

[losty]

thanks bubble - sometimes I wish I could talk and talk and talk, cos by tralking it wopuld be getting it all out of me, but other times I just want to get out of myself and forget it all

[RoundTheBend]

Hello Losty, you are not alone . I could have written your post.

I think that some days it is harder to be motivated than others.

I went out today and bought some new clothes as I too have abused my body so much with drink and food that nothing in my wardrobe fits me anymore! But I hope, with the new clothes that I will feel better about myself and get some motivation.

I find that I am on an emotional rollercoaster half the time. But hey, you've got some of it off your chest and helped me to get some off too!

The other thing I am REALLY looking forward to is the lighter evenings. I feel soooooo much better then, so I am hoping that that will be a real corner turner for me.

Do you feel better in the sunshine and lighter days and nights?

[pinkbubble]

Yes I know that feeling! Whats been happening to make you feel like this?

[DumbledoresGirl]

"I find it hard talking about all these things and often end up very intraverted about things, becuase I dont want to burden others with yet more tales of woe."

I just want to say here in public Losty where everyone can read it, that you know I am here for you re that. I know I am not much use, but the burden is not what you think it is to those of us who care for you and want to help.

The only other thing I can say is {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[losty]

hi bendy - thanks for posting - I dont mind the lighter evings, but they bring their own problems too, so Idont think they necessarily help me much tbh

[losty]

thanks DG - but I do feel like a constant burden which is why I dont go on about things

[pinkbubble]

Do you need to get a load off your chest- if you want to let rip then please feel free!

[losty]

do I need to get a load of my chest? yes I do - but I stop myself. As DG said, I couild easily open up and spill it all to her on msn but I dont, because I have this inbuilt thing about not inflicting others with my problems

[pinkbubble]

Im around, but honestly dont know anything about MSN, obviously you dont really know me but I am willing to listen, would you like me to ask my DH if he can set it up!

[losty]

oh bubble what an offer - you are too kind - I dont even know you. but you would enjoy msn for tyour own benefit, not just to listen to me!

[DumbledoresGirl]

Yes PB get on to msn. Losty and I miss our crazy 3 way conversations with another MNer!

[pinkbubble]

Yes I know that, but what Im actually thinking is that because you dont know me, what ever you tell me and off load on me I can throw away, in a kind of way that sort of helped me in the beginning, honestly Im not a gossip, I too have had a rough ride over the last 6yrs and now I have a big light at the end of the tunnel, and if I can help anyone else even get that flicker then so be it!

[RoundTheBend]

It does help to talk Losty and Pinkbubble is right, you are talking to a stranger. It could be very theraputic.

[losty]

yes but mn is the www = get msn bubble, please - it is fun too

[DumbledoresGirl]

Here you go

click on Messenger, second word down on top left hand list and go from there. It is very easy.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Sorry Losty, I seem to have scared everyone off.

I hope you find yourself able to offload to someone (me or otherwise) soon.

[losty]

thanks DG - but dont worry the msn link was thoughtful x

[pinkbubble]

Have just got DH to try and add me, so if you want to try he has got me as pinkbubble. Please try and see if we have got this right!

[pinkbubble]

Has anyone tried yet, I keep on clicking on to it!

[DumbledoresGirl]

Pink Bubble, what is your whole address? Is it [email protected]?

[losty]

bubblle you need to tive us ytour msn address, eg pinkbubblee@ etc etc and then we will add you yto our msn and asy hi

[pinkbubble]

Oh boy am I having great fun here!!!! hope you all ok! DH has told me to use my E-mail address which is
[email protected]

[losty]

thaNKS FOR coming on msn bubble - v nice of you x

[pinkbubble]

Hey losty are you about tonight, just wondered how your feeling?