PND and antidepressants

[BlueBlue22]

Hi all,

I'm pretty sure I have postnatal depression and I have taken the positive step of making an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow. It will actually be the second trip to the doctors for antidepressants because the first time I was given sertraline and it gave me terrible headaches so I decided not to take it but to try and beat it myself without meds.

I felt really anxious the first few weeks after my baby was born 3 months ago. That anxiety turned into depression, but when my DD turned 8 weeks old I seemed to improve a bit. However, since Christmas I have really gone downhill again. I feel completely miserable. I have had some terrible thoughts, and even though I love my baby, I keep wishing I'd never had her. I don't know what to do with her all day while my DH is at work. I'm bored of caring for her and I feel so trapped and isolated. I can't do anything I used to enjoy because she takes up ALL my time and attention. She won't sleep except in my arms, although she is sleeping through the night now. She won't sleep during the day and then gets overtired and fussy in the evening.

I have had a couple of stays at my parents house to alleviate the loneliness but I can't keep relying on them or leaving my DH all week. He knows how miserable I am. I cry nearly every day, and today I realised that since my baby was born I haven't enjoyed one single day. This is so sad because she was very much wanted after I suffered a stillbirth in 2015, when I lost twins at 23 weeks. And now I can't bond with my baby, I'm so very very sad because she is beautiful and healthy.

Sorry for the essay. What I really wanted to ask from anyone who has gone through PND, is do antidepressants actually help? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Will parenting get better or more enjoyable? I really hope it does because I cannot live like this 😓 There is more I could write about how I feel but I don't think it's necessary.

Thanks in advance x

[cattastic]

Yes, and yes. Antidepressants really do work but sometimes you have to reject one or two before you can find one that works for you without intolerable side effects. Sertraline gave me a weird buzzing in my head and stopped me sleeping so I don't rate it much either... Ask for another. And yes parenting does get significantly better. Hang in there.