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Brian going like a hamster on a wheel...

(4 Posts)
krustykittens Mon 28-Nov-16 19:05:08

Hi all, I have anxiety and depression and I have this awful habit that I can't seem to break. Sometimes I fall into a pit of negative thinking and I go over every time I have not been reasonable to people I cannot go back and apologise to and I feel so crap. I replay stuff over and over in my head and I can't seem to stop. I've never been violent but there are times I have come across as rude because I have been tired or upset over something else or overreacted to strangers and got into arguments. I wish I could just go back to them and say, "Listen, I was a twat and I'm sorry." But I can't and so I mentally scourge myself and it seems to take ages to break out of the thinking. Is this normal? Does everyone do this? Or is it the depression and anxiety and is there a way off curbing it?

krustykittens Mon 28-Nov-16 19:05:35

Sorry, the title should read brain not brian!

DarkDarkNight Mon 28-Nov-16 23:24:34

I am similar. I assumed it was just an internal dialogue everybody had, but I am starting to think it is not normal and is a symptom of anxiety and depression.

I am worse if I make a mistake at work. A minor mistake, or even something bigger but which is easily fixed, but I can't get over it. I go over and over it, it gives me a sinking feeling, I get physical symptoms. I can't concentrate on anything outside of work. Colleagues shrug such things off. I wish I knew how.

I go over and over things in my head, the end of my relationship, how it was my fault. I pushed my ex away, I was awful to him. I didn't know how to function anymore. I feel like I will never get over the guilt of doing that to him and our child.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Mon 28-Nov-16 23:43:42

Kittens,,,,
I did do a double take on Brian... then I worked it out.. Perhaps you should have changed your name to BrianTheHampster? wink

Bit I digress..,I have just gone out at half past ten and spent an hour driving all the way to the boatyard and back because I could not remember turning a heater off. I was fairly sure I had turned it off, but I couldn't be sure and it was playing on my mind.. I had been trying all evening to work out if I had turned it off but I couldn't and the thought of it catching fire was begining to play on my mind.. even though I was sure I had turned it off... I couldn't actually remember. Worst case... the heater starts a fire and the boat goes up in smoke....

So yes I understand and sympathise with Brian the Hamster running around in his wheel and getting nowhere.

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