Very unsettled newborn getting me down.............................................. help

[katierocket]

DS2 is nearly 4 weeks old and is a very unsettled baby. DS1 had horrendous colic and we had an awful first 3 months with him. I'm terrified that same is happening with DS2.

he is irritable, always seems uncomfortable, is very 'frantic' when awake - flailing arms and legs, cries most of the time he's awake and has frequent periods in day and evening of full on screaming. He also often wakes up in the pram crying.

I just feel as though it's something I've done/am doing. He's breastfed, is putting on weight well but just seems to be an unhappy little man.

Could it be colic again? reflux? (he's quite sicky, always hiccuping, burping etc)He's desperate to suck but won't take a dummy (will suck my finger for a while).

It's just really really getting me down, I feel like I can't go anywhere with him and my whole day and night is just feeding and trying to get him to sleep/stop crying.

Am going to cranial osteopath next week but any other thoughts about how I can make him less unsettled?

thanks

[Heavenis]

Sorry your having a bad time at the moment.

Is Ds2 good at getting his wind up ?

Have you tried any of the over counter remedies to see if that helps him at all ?

[katierocket]

He seems to be OK at getting wind up - have tried infacol to help that along,. But he does always seem uncomfortable after feeding - lots of regurgitation/burping/hiccups then he will start squirming and crying. I'm starting to think about giving up breastfeeding since at least if he was bottle fed I could have somet ime away from him.

[Heavenis]

What about expressing for him.

Have you mentioned anything to your HV ?

[katierocket]

Yes might try expressing. HV pretty useless, thinks it might be colic, I just don't understand how we can have two babies that are so unsettled, that's what makes me think it's something I'm doing - although god knows what.

[Flower3554]

Have you tried swaddling. I swear by it. Some babies just feel more secure if they're wrapped up. I also use a bouncy chair, put wrapped baby in it facing you, put your feet on the front wire stand things and gently rock the chair.

The restless movements do sound like colic though. Infacol usually works for me but it takes a good few days to get the babies used to it.

[Heavenis]

Is there anything in your diet that they maybe reacting to.

I'm no expert just a thought.

[katierocket]

he doesn't seem to like swaddling - although DS1 liked it. He fights to get his hands free

[katierocket]

Don't think so Heavenis - diet is deliberately fairly bland at the moment.

God he's just such hard work. I can't put him down for 5 mins without him crying. It's particularly difficult with having another child - last night had to cook tea while he screamed the place down.

[robbosmum]

feel so sorry for you..... a sling is a good idea,,, you are doing a top job.. no advice, sorry, just lots of good thoughts, hope you feel better - you are not doing anything wrong

[usandnosleep]

you poor thing, have no advice just wanted to send you my sympathy and {{hugs}}
I'm sure it's nothing you're doing and definitely see if you can hand him over to get some time to yourself, EBM or not.

[katierocket]

have tried sling but he screamed! must try it again though, thanks for all your thoughts it helps. I just so hoped that he was going to be a calm happy baby and he seems so far from that.

[Crotchety]

Sorry to hear this Katierocket. I had exactly the same with my first and I remember how desperate and draining it is, both the worry and the exhaustion. Took DS for several sessions of cranial osteopathy starting at a few weeks old which did calm him down and I hope this works for you. (I remember wondering how I would get through the days until the appointment).We didn't see the miraculous results that some people speak of, but he did seem less agitated generally. However he remained a hopeless sleeper and never wanted to be put down. He became a thoroughly cheerful toddler...DS number two was less agitated in himself but had colic so different problem same result...I really quite resented people who had sleeping babies that were happy to lie in a cot by themselves...

[sazjaz]

my second chld was like that .have u tried a different shaped teat on a dummy as u are breastfeeding my baby wouldnt take to a normal shaped one .sounds strange but when my dd was crying the sound of a hoover got her to sleep .

[CanSleepWontStarve]

Sounds like reflux or milk intolerance to me. Suggest you cut out ALL dairy from your diet for 2 weeks and see if it makes a difference. I put up with 15 weeks of what you describe before we discovered that that was dd's problem (along with silent reflux).

If it is this then switching to formula will make it worse rather than better.

[Crotchety]

Actually now sazjaz mentions it, DS would fall asleep to the sound of the hairdryer which I ended up taping to the cool position and leaving on the floor by his cot. Hoover worked as well. Fan heater less effective...You can get white noise CDS I think but don't know if they have the same effect. Not a long term solution but every little helps.

[katierocket]

thanks all

CanSleepWontStarve - interesting - I had been looking into silent reflux and wondered if it was that. Would cutting out dairy help if it was reflux or just if it was milk intolerance?

white noise suggestions are intersting - we might have to give that a go.

DS1 - who was horrendous as newborn was a fantastic toddler and is a lovely 5 year old so I am just clinging on to that at the moment. I just get so down when I think of another 3 months of this.

[katierocket]

CanSleepWontStarve- did you have anything prescribed for the silent reflux?

[JoLou74]

Playing Elton John was the only thing that would calm my DS down. Got much better after 5/6 weeks. Hang in there!

[katierocket]

I feel like my head is spinning with what it could be.

BF just suggested trying a bottle of formula just to see if that makes a difference. I have a very fast let down so perhaps that is what's giving him stomach ache/reflux.

[JodieG1]

You could have your initial let down into a towel/muslin (I have fast let down and found this helps) as this could help. I would let him suck on your breast if he likes sucking, will stimulate your milk supply as well as comforting him.

Ds2 cries when he's tired but finds it hard to sleep alone so either me or dh rock, walk, cuddle him until he drops off and then I usually hold him. Ethan does love to be held all the time though We also co-sleep which helps as I'm always right next to him.

[Enid]

katie dd3 was like this for about 6 weeks around the same time IIRC.

it suddenly stopped.

[katierocket]

really Enid - god I hope it does suddenly stop

I'm just sure it's feeding related but not sure exactly what IFYKWIM

[LadyTophamHatt]

Ohh KR, I have no real addition advice but just wanted you to know I'm reading and sympathise.

The white noise thing works with ds4. He's been grumpy all morning but when I laid him on our bed to get in the shower he went off to sleep on his own (our shower is very noisy), he woke up when I got out but when back to sleep when I turned on the hairdryer so it deffo works here.

The tumble dryer DH got me for Xmas comes in very handy with the racket it makes.


The bouncy chair he has is FAB too, it has a little vibrating thing that he loves and that often soothes him for a while if I'm tring to do 100 thing at once.


I hope some of these ideas work.

[Mousie]

i had this with my daughter. Advised to cut all dairy and soy from my diet (lived on roast chicken if i remember - v hard to stay full). I saw a brilliant consultant who was an expert in infant colic and gut stuff. but it worked. meant no dairy in my breast milk. re introduce soy gradually and see if that is ok, sometimes both cause problems so best to start avoiding both. i know it's hard but it sure does beat the screaming. good luck. i look back on those early months as the hardest and most miserable of my life but they do pass, really. Good luck. i know lots of advice can be unhelpful but had to put my tuppence in as this sounds so familiar and i really really feel for you.