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Depressed when my children are ill

(4 Posts)
canigoontheipad Sun 13-Nov-16 21:16:04

Anyone else get this? I find it so frustrating as my DH doesn't seem bothered at all when the children are ill, but I get an all consuming, physically nauseating depressed feeling that I can't shake off. I think it stems from anxiety that I've always had about health issues in myself and loved ones, and also the fact that it changes the routine for me, i.e. They have to stay off school, can't go out, need you by their side 24/7 etc. At the moment my 3 year old has had a cold/cough for over 4 weeks - GP thinks it might be asthma and has prescribed inhalers, he's had a course of ABs but still no better. I will take him back in the morning, but I think it's the not knowing what's wrong and when it will end that bothers me. I've been on AD's for 4.5 years for anxiety but I still get these bouts that are upsetting. My other child has SN so there is a constant feeling of having to give extra care and attention to him also. I'm not really asking for answers, but I was just wondering if anyone else gets this as I had a google and couldn't see anything.

Greydiddi Mon 14-Nov-16 20:32:46

Hi cani I was just about to post about my anxiety and depression when my DCs are ill. My DH is the same in that he doesn't seem to worry at all and can't understand me. My youngest DS has had two bouts of croup and has the symptoms of it starting again this evening. I feel totally all consumed by it, anxious and depressed and unable to sleep. Mind spinning. I drive my DH round the bend by constantly talking through scenarios.

I don't have any answers but wanted to say that no you are not alone! Hope your little one gets better soon and here's to hoping for an easy winter!

canigoontheipad Mon 14-Nov-16 20:50:19

Aw nice to know we're not alone. It's awful isn't it. It makes me feel so alone as I don't know anyone else who gets like this. I feel like it's all down to me to decide whether they need to see the doctor, to look after them and worry about them. Do you suffer with anxiety and depression normally or only when they're ill?

Greydiddi Mon 14-Nov-16 21:18:48

I had bad PND after the birth of my first DC and had a difficult few years, but it is generally under control now most of the time. When the DC are ill though I feel like I start flipping back to that state scarily quickly!

I know what you mean about the responsibility - as if it is all on me to make the right call re the doctors, questioning what if I miss something etc, not really trusting my DH so lie awake all night. It is something that I really wish I could get some control over as they are still young and I don't want years of this!

Weirdly the last time he was ill my youngest needed an ambulance following a 111 call - when that actually happened I was very calm. Almost as if now it was happening I could cope, but the anticipation/lack of control was too much before.

Sorry that was a lot about mesmile. I hope you are feeling ok tonight. flowers

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