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I don't recognise myself

(4 Posts)
oliversmummy21 Sun 13-Nov-16 01:23:10

Hi all, any thoughts/opinions would be gratefully received.

I'm feeling terribly lonely. I divorced my husband last year, have an 18 month to my ex, who he sees alternate weekends.

I work in a high paced retail area mananger role, which is very insular and I have no work colleagues that I can or do class as friends for professional reasons.

When I divorced, my circle of so called friends diminished.

I live with a lovely new guy who says he adores me and my son. We've built up a lovely home together over the last 8 months, which is great but has been very testing.

My problem is im incredibly lonely and Im now not understanding whether I am actually being unreasonable or whether I have other issues that I need to deal with.

My new partoner plays a high competitive sport ad trains 2/3 nights a week. *gets home after bed time. He is extremely sociable and every weekend we have plans to see/visit his friends or attend events. He wants me to be part of everything he does.

All I want though is to have some real quality family time together. We have had endless arguments about our lack of any quality time together. We have only had 1 weekend where we have been solely together *no son or friends. I think that's really poor. But I also wish that we could have 1 weekend a month Fri night - Mon morning where we only do things as a family....as we never get this time together and family and time is so important ad valuable to me. To the extent that I actually spend more time with his family than he does.

My other issue is we rub each other up the wrong way when we argue, he listens but doesn't seem to understand my concerns. Which highly fustrated ad angers me to the point where I end up litersely pulling my hair and almost having a spoilt brat tantrum. I've never felt so emotionally battered. I have no one to talk to. My extended family and parents have their own issues Id hate to lumber them with my issues.

He also told me that in his past relationship
s apart fyom when he married he has cheated on all of his gfs.......which makes me feel sick, anxious and nervous when he's out and about.....not that I have been given any reasons or doubts that he'd cheat.

I'm just at a loss, suicide has been thought about but soon dismissed.....but I can't believe I'd ever think that way ever.

Please cs anyone help?

Thank you x

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 13-Nov-16 15:39:47

Can I ask, do you understand what he wants?

Whilst it is clear you want quality time as a family. You say he goes out playing sports and training and is very sociable. A weekends you are visiting his friends or going out. He wants you to be involved.

I wonder do you actually want the same things? That is not to imply that what one of you wants is better than the other, more to enquire if both of you are looking for the same?

oliversmummy21 Sun 13-Nov-16 16:14:56

We often talk about our future together and what we'd both like to achieve. However, it isn't going to be achieved if we sustain this lifestyle.

Am I being unreasonable by asking to have 1 weekend a month where we can do things together as a family unit and see one another's families?

He has been away again this weekend, so I've had a lovely time with my son and my family. But when you're in a relationship aren't you supposed to enjoy these things together rather than as a single mum?

IonaNE Sun 13-Nov-16 19:54:32

OP, pls don't take this the wrong way but from your first post: you divorced your husband last year, then you built a home with the new partner for 8 months. It is the 11th month now, so you were single for only a couple of months... I just wonder if this was a good idea; and whether what your new partner wants is to be a "family unit" with you and your son.

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