I am a single mum thats really really struggling right now. I have been feeling crappy for a couple years now but it just seems to get worse rather than better.....
Recently all I seem to do is scream, shout + cry. My kids behaviour tips me over the edge + I know it's not their fault but silly little things like emptying a toy box + refusing to tidy up when done sends me completely over the edge.
After a day of a 2yr old throwing tantrum after tantrum, numerous trips to the naughty step, sent to bed, even a tattoo thw nappy + just constant moaning. My kids (2+4) wrecked their room tonight, I mean to the point of mattresses + bed guards thrown, not a toy left in the toy box, pen up the wall the works! + no matter how many times I asked them to help tidy it, they point blank refused, I then noticed a money bank my son had made a couple years ago, smashed into peices on the floor.... I broke! I screamed, not even any words, just screamed + then literally broke down into tears, all I kept thinking was 'i really can't do this' i literally sat + howled in my room for an hour. Then marched the kids out + up to their dad's.... So I'm now sitting with some free time tidying up for the millionth time today, howling my eyes out. This isn't the first time this has happened, I've had numerous doctors trips + just get the 'they are just boys, they will grow out of it + u will survive, bla bla bla bla" I've even been to see a councillor which more or less says the same apart from an added 'get more free time" How!?!? They are both in nursery as much as they possibly can be with my budget, every member of my family work full-time, they see their dad weekly..... I'm stuck! I feel horrible! I cannot cope with my own children to the point of I howl over a broken piggy bank 😞 help me!?
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Mental health
What is wrong with me.....
1fedupmama · 08/11/2016 17:55
You poor thing. Having kids can be incredibly stressful and I don't think it's acknowledged enough. It's OK to find it hard. Don't beat yourself up. You sounds stressed to bits. I have 2 kids and they have driven me to the brink and back again.
I would recommend seeing another doctor. Fobbing you off is not good enough and saying "boys will be boys" is just wrong. Good luck and I hope you get the help you need. You sound really distressed. 
Contact your health visitor, she can help you put boundaries in place, tell her of your struggles and she can help advise on your situation. It's what she is there for.
Important to remember children do misbehave and likewise they learn from their environment so you must learn to control your temper otherwise they will not learn to manage their own.
When children misbehave you need to put consequences in place, you might know that but are you doing it? Tonight you only lost your temper and that's not a consequence - only a damaging reaction.
Tell someone what's going on in RL
Could sure start help? I'm not sure what they actually do but could get some support or advice?
A 2 and 4 year old is hard work. Any time at nursery at all? Eg eldest getting free hours? What does nursery suggest?
Maybe a parenting course could suggest some strategies? I'm not being patronising!!! Promise! Time out would NOT work with my youngest at all. It just wouldn't.
It's hard. It's ok to say it's hard. You do need RL support.
Oh OP 2 small DC is really not easy especially when you don't have much help
I don't really have any advice but I've been there and it does get easier. It took years for it to be easier for me (I wouldn't ask for help more than couldn't ask but I didn't realise at the time).
FWIW time out never worked for either DC. With DC1 it was not allowing outside play and with DC2 it was taking away a toy or TV.
Do you work outside the home? It helped my sanity when the DC were small. I was basically working to cover childcare but it helped to get out of the house.
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