Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Depression

(3 Posts)
NurseRoscoe Sun 18-Sep-16 10:17:50

Today my depression and anxiety has got to a point where I don't know how to do it or how to cope any more. I have no one to talk to everyone in my life just makes a point of telling me about all the things I'm doing wrong and I could not get lower right now. What do I do? All I want to do is take all my tablets and disappear but I know I can't as I have children I'm also pregnant and even the thoughts make me want to hurt myself for being so selfish. What do I do

tundell Sun 18-Sep-16 11:12:34

I just wanted reply as I am also struggling at the moment.

I cried in front of my children this morning. I normally go to the loo and have a good cry but they heard me. I don't want their childhood memories being of mummy crying uncontrollably for no apparent reason.

BUT......

I know I feel worse if I fight the feelings. I know that I am not doing anything wrong and that the voice inside me telling me i am useless and worthless is the depression talking. I will not apologise for it and in many ways I will embrace it.

Someone once told me that while you feel you are not dead. So I make sure I feel everything good and bad. I have had that numb depression and that is when the darkest suicidal thoughts come.

So I would say (and this is probably useless advice because I myself am struggling to cope) but to just go with it! If you feel like you can't cope than decide not to. Actively decide to have a day off from yourself. Set small baby step targets and tell yourself one positive thing a day even if the rest of the day goes to pot, you have one positive to hold onto! Today may be filled with anxiety but tomorrow might not be.

Above all no-one can tell you that you are doing it wrong! No-one lives your life and fears. Take your time. Use the situations to discover yourself and explore your thoughts. Meditate on it and above all accept yourself.

You may find that the feelings never leave
Completely. But they can work for you. I suffered with crippling anxiety for 10 years. During this time I really got to understand my body and what set off the anxiety and panic etc. When I gave birth I was able to channel into myself the same way as I did when controlling my panic attacks and I managed to have a pain free labour, birthed my child myself with the MW just standing by and watching. It really was beautiful.

This is what I hold onto when I have these days.

rumred Sun 18-Sep-16 20:25:20

whats brought on the worsening of your feelings? have you talked to anyone about it?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now