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I tried to kill myself and now I don't know how I should be feeling.

(33 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

NumbNelly Sun 11-Sep-16 19:35:05

I think I just need to be told how to feel because I'm struggling. I feel numb but so alive at the same time.
When I'm alone fat hot tears roll out of my eyes and I can't stop it.
I don't know what's normal anymore.

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 19:43:23

I doubt that there is a right way to feel. I'm sure others with more experience or advice will be a long soon. But just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I do understand that feeling of not knowing what is normal. It's horrible flowers if it helps, keep posting

gamerchick Sun 11-Sep-16 19:44:07

I don't think there is a 'textbook' way to feel. You poor thing, do you have someone to talk to IRL? flowers

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 19:45:11

Echoing gamerchick, do you have support?

NumbNelly Sun 11-Sep-16 20:02:56

I have the follow up GP appointment from being discharged next week. My friend and family and partner have been good.
Just when I get alone I get in my own head. I've got so much stuff I could be doing but I'm sitting in bed again

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 20:06:28

There is no rush though. All those things will be done

NumbNelly Sun 11-Sep-16 20:09:40

Rusty i feel like I need the distraction. I feel like my house will be nice if I do them. But I just can't

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 20:12:26

Is there anything else you can do as a distraction? I quite like playing silly games on my iPad or phone as a distraction if I am stressed or tired. I also am enjoying listening to podcasts as a nice distraction.

NumbNelly Sun 11-Sep-16 20:27:23

I used to self harm to get rid of this feeling but I don't want to get into that mind frame again

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 20:36:02

Best not to love, are you on your own right now? If so, can anyone keep you company?

OhThatThingAgain Sun 11-Sep-16 21:24:22

For me I didn't feel anything for ages. I cried, a lot. But it wasn't real feeling. It just was? I would just sit there and cry and not know why. I have more idea now, but it's very personal to me.

Damn the housework, I just distracted with podcasts, books and films. Non fiction, like documentaries and autobiography stuff was good for me. I couldn't face chic lit or rom coms, way too jolly. We are all different.

Sit in bed, distract, distract, distract. Talk on here, we can all chat. None of us have the same story but we are a group who know what it was like (is like) for us.

Hugs (sod it if it's not MN etiquette) xx

NumbNelly Sun 11-Sep-16 22:21:25

Rusty I'm on my own. Everyone I rely on is busy right now. This rarely happens.
I started housework but my heart wasn't in it. So I'm back in bed. Thank you for all the advice. I just want this all to be over

RustyPaperclip Sun 11-Sep-16 23:02:46

Well there are lots of people here if you need to talk. It may sound cheesy but I have had a lot of support on here when I have been going through a tough time. Plus I have sleep problems so I tend to be awake at crazy times so happy to post back if it helps smile

erinaceus Mon 12-Sep-16 05:34:06

NumbNelly Keep posting on here if you can. I agree with RustyPaperclip - I have also had a lot of support here on MN when I have been through difficult patches. There are usually a few people on MN who are awake at any one time who will post back.

I even started a thread about this type of thing, where you might find some support if you want to be with other people.

Other than that, distract, distract, distract, and call the Samaritans or another helpline if you need a voice on the other end of the line. Kudos to you for staying away from self-harm as a coping strategy if you are able to. I try to stay away from the negative coping strategies and tried out lots and lots of other ones until I found ones that worked for me. If you need to just hang on in there to your GP appointment, do you have any plans between now and then?

flowers

Broken1Girl Mon 12-Sep-16 06:53:57

Oh love flowers
I know what you mean about feeling a lot of things but also numb. That's normal.
Do you need medical attention? I'm not asking what you tried to do, although if you want to tell us go ahead, but I wouldn't want you to have any long-term consequences.
When is your GP appointment? If you feel unsafe before then, you can make an urgent appointment or go to A&E.
Keep talking x

NumbNelly Mon 12-Sep-16 11:02:33

My appointment is tomorrow. I overdosed and I'm still feeling the affects but they were happy to discharge me

RustyPaperclip Mon 12-Sep-16 21:57:43

How are you feeling today?

NumbNelly Tue 13-Sep-16 10:25:53

Rusty a little better but still run down. I'm in the doctors now and I don't even know what to say. Doesn't help they've made the appointment with a doctor I've never met before.

RustyPaperclip Tue 13-Sep-16 20:41:42

Oh love, I can imagine that might be difficult. Do you have a doctor you can open up to? Can you request to see him/her? I saw a new doctor last year when I was going through a tough time with with anxiety. I was so worried about talking to a doctor about it that I took my mum in with me! I was 29 grin I now trust him and find it easy to chat to him about how I am feeling. Please keep posting if it helps you, but don't worry if not. Just wanted to check how you are feeling smile

OhThatThingAgain Wed 14-Sep-16 21:33:21

How are you numb? Did the doctor help? I just wanted to say hi, we're here.

NumbNelly Thu 15-Sep-16 15:10:13

The doctor wasn't that helpful really.
Had a massive blowout with DP and now I'm feeling crappy again

user1470043860 Thu 15-Sep-16 15:12:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NumbNelly Thu 15-Sep-16 15:24:50

user me and DP don't live together thankfully

erinaceus Thu 15-Sep-16 19:46:31

Numb sending flowers

How are you now a few hours later?

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 15-Sep-16 19:58:56

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on jo@samaritans.org.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, Nelly , and we really hope things start to look up for you soon.
Peace and Love

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