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Antisocial neighbours driving me to suicide

(20 Posts)
user1472582572 Thu 01-Sep-16 19:26:29

I'm tired of dealing with hostile, rude people. They've never actually spoken to me face-to-face but they have no disrespectful being verbally abusive calling me a 'fat cow', 'fat pig' and banging on the walls when my baby cries. They've also taken to deliberately littering the front drive of my house. I've gone through so much: racism, sexual abuse, physical abuse and I've had enough. Everyone copes with things differently: I don't deserve this constant harassment and judgmental behaviour from people who have no idea of what I've been through. I can understand why people get a gun and just snap.

IzzyIsBusy Thu 01-Sep-16 19:30:30

Have you spoken to the police? The racism and sexual abuse are enough for a start shock

user1472582572 Thu 01-Sep-16 20:07:18

Sorry, I meant in the past as in I've had enough crap to deal with in life and I want to focus on the positive in life, but people are always trying to bring me down.

Ebayaholic Thu 01-Sep-16 20:11:59

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I absolutely know you shouldn't have to move, but is it possible to do so? Your mental health is more important than anything else right now.
I'm sure a wise mumsnetter will come along with details of a support agency, have you been to your doctor?

IzzyIsBusy Thu 01-Sep-16 20:13:14

Oh sorry i misunderstood.

It is still worth contacting the police or local council. Antisocial behaviour is an offence.
It is terrible that you have to live this way OP. flowers

pinkdonkey Thu 01-Sep-16 21:39:44

You need to speak to environmental health at the council and see if they can do anything.

user1472582572 Thu 08-Sep-16 22:43:20

Should I report them to the police? But will I be taken seriously? I keep myself to myself and try to treat everyone with common courtesy and basic decency yet somehow I don't deserve the same respect. They're behaving in such a horribly hostile manner towards me.

OhThatThingAgain Fri 09-Sep-16 22:48:12

Are they behaving the same with other neighbours? Could you quietly ask others. I thought I was going crazy until the neighbour on the opposite side of the horrible people came and said they did the same to her. I could have cried with relief, it wasn't me, it was them!

There is strength in numbers. Find out how others perceive them. I managed to get four neighbours to call the police when I was verbally abused on my doorstep.

It's easy to think you are the only one, you might not be? People may help, but it depends on your community.

Either way, you can call the police. They will send the safer neighbourhood team round for a polite word. If that doesn't work they can send out a proper response unit. I was told that the next time they verbally abused me they would be arrested if I made a statement.

I was told I could make a statement at the local station or have an officer visit in a marked car, I decided to have the marked car. That way they knew it was me and damn the consequences.

It's horrible, I was called all sorts. Soul destroying not being able to live quietly in your own home flowers

Gardenbirds123 Fri 09-Sep-16 22:49:14

Message deleted by MNHQ for troll hunting. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SpookyRachel Fri 09-Sep-16 22:56:28

Why would it be, Gardenbirds? Do you think this is unlikely to happen in RL? Do you think it's helpful to speculate?

BigginsforPope Fri 09-Sep-16 23:14:27

I think you would be sensible to call the non emergency police number and have a chat with someone. They will be able to advise you further. It is not fair or right that you can't enjoy living in your house. Sadly some people are just shits.

Hope you get something sorted OP.

brightspark2 Fri 09-Sep-16 23:17:54

Do you own or rent? Contact the landlords and environmental health of council, keep a log of incidents and report to the police, getting an incident number every time. Start an antisocial behaviour case with police, council AND landlords. You will be taken seriously and they can be evicted. Tell your doctor and community mental health team.

OhThatThingAgain Fri 09-Sep-16 23:37:15

Why would this be a troll, use the link if that is what you are thinking.

The MH board really isn't the place for troll hunting. We're fragile enough around here.

OP start with 101, they will get you in touch with Safer neighbourhoods team for a chat. It may be enough to calm the situation, but do try to talk to other neighbours quietly if you can. You may be surprised that you are not the only one. Good luck, I've been on the receiving end and it's an all consuming nightmare.

GoldFishFingerz Fri 09-Sep-16 23:41:51

Move?

Sunnysky2016 Sat 10-Sep-16 11:11:47

Hi I'm so sorry you are going through this, but for the sake of you and your children's health you need to contact the housing association of you are a rental with them, the council (who have teams to deal with this) and the police on the non emergency number as all mentioned above.
I am having a similar problem with my dads neighbours but nowhere near as extreme as yours. The neighbours have now got together, as they've realised how upset and concerned each other are.
At the end of another night of screaming, shouting, doors being slammed etc, I approached said lady in question. She was with 5 friends. I asked to speak to her, then told her friends to go in as its wasn't involving them. I then put questions to her 'do you really think this behaviour is acceptable?', 'how would you feel if it was your mother/father having to put up with this?' And so on. She ended up really sheepish and apologised, but I took her to apologise to my dad and the other next door neighbour.
I was then confronted by her mum, who again was apologetic etc, and agin I put the same questions.
At no time did I shout at either, raise my voice, use any swear words or threatened them- I simply spoke normally.
Touch wood, in 3 weeks they've not heard a peep out of her and her cling-on's (you can guess the type I mean), but I'm not assuming it's the end by a long way.
I also contacted the housing associations and council on my fathers behalf, who already had a case building and dads statements added.
I am not suggesting, you confront them at all, so please don't think that, just wanted to give our experience. But contacting the people above was very straight forward and they were lovely on the phone. Believe it or not I suffer from bipolar and anxiety, so confronting someone is not my normal behaviour- if it was me it was happening too- I would have said nothing- but it was my dad who is vulnerable, so it's amazing where strength can come from when you need it.
They really listened on the phone, asked questions, and was sympathetic to what I was saying. I was shaking like a leaf and felt sick before calling, but it honestly was way easier than I thought.
Some people are just low life's that's the only word I can use. No one should be fearful in their own home, and have to put up with behaviour like this. retribution often makes it difficult for people to report things, it's like school ground bully, you are afraid to say anything in case it gets worse, remember the agencies above will have strategies in place to help you with that if that is what you are fearing. Stay strong

user1472582572 Sat 10-Sep-16 17:35:11

I don't have the money or means to move. But why should I be the one to have to go through such a process when I'm by myself with a baby? They're the ones behaving so horribly, why should I be forced out?

user1472582572 Sat 10-Sep-16 17:38:40

Thank you to all the people who have posted in support of me and made helpful suggestions, I really appreciate it. I'm going to start keeping a log of every time the neighbours are antisocial towards me and I'm contacting the council and police about it. But thanks so much to you all for responding to my post: sometimes I feel so alone and feel like no one cares and it's people like you who help me stay hopeful. I've also been referred by my GP to a support group regarding my mental health.

OhThatThingAgain Sun 11-Sep-16 09:06:04

I'm glad we've helped a bit. I hope you get things sorted out. I was given a sheet by the local council to record incidents, they will probably be able to give you one.

Keep us posted.

user1472582572 Sun 18-Sep-16 16:04:01

Nothing has changed with the neighbours, in fact, they're getting even worse.

I really feel for you. I had the most awful neighbour for years and I just couldn't understand why she was so vile to me, but as another poster said, I too found that I wasn't the only one she did it to.
It came to a head when was really verbally abusive to my dc. My DH went to see her and her DH and said he would report her if she ever did it again. She still carried on with me though.
I moved in the end because I knew she was unstable and nothing would change her and I just didn't want to worry every time I stepped outside. I do hope you find a way to get way from them.

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