I want to hurt myself, angry, depressed...

[Lovemusic33]

I'm at home alone with my 2 dc's, I'm scared to get out of bed as I want to cut. Dp is working away, I told him not to go as I don't feel well, I'm angry that he went and left me feeling like this, left me to deal with his shit. I have taken some pills to try and knock myself out for a bit so I don't do anything stupid, I know if I take the pills I won't get in my car and drive far away.

I have tried to get the dc's father to cone and collect them but he's too busy, I feel guilty that they are in the house seeing me like this .

[dangermouseisace]

sorry to hear you're feeling like this lovemusic how old are your kids?

[ElodieS]

Didn't want to read this and run. Are there any other friends or family who could come and watch DCs for you?

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way, don't be too hard on yourself though, none of this is your fault.

[Greengager]

Hello sorry you feel this way. Here are the kids now. Is their anyone else who can come and take them. Even if it's a school mum you could just call and say you are not well. Which is true. Think you then need to get to gp or go and take you with them.

[Greengager]

Them with you sorry.

[Lovemusic33]

Thanks for your posts, things have got worse , dp just keeps shouting at me for crying and being down, apparently I have no right to feel like this. This morning he left me to go to work, I was a mess and I ended up chucking things around the bedroom in a rage. I want my ex to pick the kids up but he has better things to do, my mum thinks I should pull myself together and dp thinks I'm being a child. I need to try and get through the day but I can't think straight, I'm scared I will hurt myself or put my kids at risk. My dc's are 10 and 12, my youngest has Autism, they don't deserve me as a mum, I have let them down. I have no one

[dangermouseisace]

Have you told anyone else you are struggling OP? GP/MH team/social worker?

[Lovemusic33]

I have been to the GP twice, anti depressants just make me sick, I have tried several , I know I need to go back but at the moment I can't even leave the house.

[dangermouseisace]

sounds like it would be a good idea to go back...