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feeling down and caring for kids in holidays

(10 Posts)
RadiatorBlues Thu 11-Aug-16 11:39:14

I feel so bad. I know I should go out and do something with them, but everything seems so , painfully pointless and futile that I'm just... inactive. Sat in the car for 20 minutes with them, just trying to build up courage .. but have come back home. Disappointed and lifeless. They need education, stimulation, exercise and I'm giving them nothing. I don't have anything to give.

Greenyogagirl Thu 11-Aug-16 18:30:44

I feel exactly the same at the moment sad

mostimproved Thu 11-Aug-16 18:35:29

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, it's horrible isn't it. I think secretly a lot of parents find it overwhelming to care for their DC all day when they are used to them being in school - mine has been in a holiday club even though I'm not at work at the moment blush.

What age are they and have they asked to do anything in particular? Even just going to the park gives them exercise and stimulation, and depending what they are like you might also be able to just sit down and have a break rather than having to be actively playing with them all the time if you don't want to.

You are their mum, and the fact that you are worrying shows you care about them which means you automatically do have something to give - you love them and want them to be happy. One of the ways you can do this is by getting yourself feeling a bit better, so you can then do more with your kids. Remember the oxygen masks on the plane - you need to sort yours out before theirs! I know it is a lot more complicated than I'm making out, but if you can take steps to address why you are feeling this way then it might start to come naturally to do more things with the kids.

mostimproved Thu 11-Aug-16 18:36:50

Also sorry I just realised I said you are their mum, I'm jumping to conclusions there so apologies if I am wrong on that front.

Msqueen33 Thu 11-Aug-16 18:36:52

I could have written this post. Two of my three have autism so the days are long and I find it too hard taking them all out. I've barely moved off the sofa today and have no energy. Ultimately I feel like I'm failing them over and over every day. Hugs 🍫

forcryinoutloud Fri 12-Aug-16 18:59:06

Mstimproved what a lovely caring post from you, one of the best I've ever read.

OP, sorry to hear you so low, it is overwhelming so I would suggest small steps rather than focus on some big 'challenge'. Simply chatting to them gives them stimulation or doing pleasant little things like a jig saw or some baking. Are you focusing on big fancy things that you think they are missing out on? If so, be reassured, children need love not Disneyland.

forcryinoutloud Fri 12-Aug-16 19:00:19

Msqueen33 also sorry to hear your struggles, hugs for you.flowers

RadiatorBlues Sat 13-Aug-16 09:35:33

Aww what lovely supportive posts - thank you for taking time time to write those.

I actually had a nice and productive day yesterday.

I Sometimes carastroohise, when I've just had one bad day or period. I need to remember that having no interest in Anything for a few hours or a day is fine and I should just aim to get through the day, rather than berate myself and feel jealous of people who are enjoying themselves so naturally and easily.

Thank you all.

I'm sorry MsQueen33. That sounds extra tough and makes me feel bad that I'm finding my children who don't have autism dificult. Do you have much help???

My neighbour's life has been spent caring for her son who suffers from many difficulties and she is so selfless. It's amazing the power of love. But ideally people need support.

Wishing you all love and happiness.

forcryinoutloud Sat 13-Aug-16 16:32:11

Hi Radiator, I'm so glad to hear you feel a bit better. Remember, small steps!

christinakennedy1991 Sat 13-Aug-16 22:37:02

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I have to say I have felt the same a lot of the time. It is really hard to find things to do all the time in the holidays but really they have fun with even the simplest activities. When i can't find the motivation to get out and about I usually do a movie day, playing in the garden with street chalk, water balloons or water guns, we do drawing or make things out of old boxes in the house. Play hide and seek. I just try and do at least something. Mind you my boys who are 4 and 6 tend to set up elaborate games they like to play and have really amazing imaginations. They don't need constant activities. Independent play is good sometimes too smile Don't be too harsh on yourself. Feet up sometimes and enjoy a cuppa and a good book. Chin up <3 x

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